Lifestyle
Self-forgiveness is more than self-comfort − a philosopher explains
Self-forgiveness requires confronting negative emotions, acknowledging wrongdoing, and is essential for moral growth and healthier relationships.
Last Updated on March 7, 2026 by Daily News Staff
Mordechai Gordon, Quinnipiac University
As the Jewish High Holidays approach, which begin with Rosh Hashanah and continue with Yom Kippur, the theme of forgiveness keeps coming to my mind.
The 10 days from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur are referred to in the Jewish tradition as the days of repentance, or the days of awe. During this period, Jews who observe the holidays implore God to respond to their sins with mercy, while also requesting forgiveness from anyone those individuals may have wronged in the past year.
Most conversations about forgiveness focus on the meaning and value of forgiving others. Douglas Stewart, a philosopher of education who has researched forgiveness extensively, writes that to forgive implies a willingness to let go of our negative emotions or hard feelings and to adopt in their place a more generous and compassionate attitude toward our wrongdoers.
Other philosophers have pointed out that the benefits of forgiveness include overcoming resentment, restoring relationships and setting a wrong to rest in the past – without vengeance. As such, to forgive should be considered morally valuable and admirable.
But what about self-forgiveness? Is it morally valuable, or just something we do to make ourselves feel better? And what is self-forgiveness, anyway?
As a philosopher of education, some of my own research has wrestled with these questions.
Defining self-forgiveness
Self-forgiveness means managing to work through painful feelings such as guilt, shame and deep disappointment with ourselves. It entails transforming negative attitudes, such as contempt, anger and shame, into more positive emotions such as respect and humility.
It is important to recognize, however, that a wrongdoer cannot simply reject shame: They must confront it. Moral philosophers such as Byron Williston assert that people who have deeply wronged others, such as betraying a loved one, need to experience shame and take responsibility for their actions – such as asking for forgiveness. Otherwise, an attempt at self-forgiveness is not likely to be meaningful.
Finally, we need to keep in mind that self-forgiveness does not imply someone has extinguished all the negative feelings directed at themselves or is done with self-reproach. This would amount to an impossible goal.
Rather, as philosopher Robin Dillon pointed out, self-forgiveness suggests that someone is no longer being consumed or overwhelmed by those negative feelings. In short, it is possible to forgive ourselves and still view ourselves with a demanding and critical eye.
Moral development
Getting there, though, is not easy. Self-forgiveness entails working through a rigorous process of coming to terms with wrongdoing.
According to ethicist Margaret Holmgren, that process includes at least four steps: acknowledging that what we did was wrong; coming to terms with why it was wrong; allowing ourselves to experience grief and self-resentment at having injured another person; and, finally, making a genuine effort to correct the attitudes that led to the harmful act and making amends to the victim.
In other words, confronting negative emotions, attitudes and patterns is essential prior to attempting to restore relationships with others. Only once we are able to relax the preoccupation with guilt and shame, and to genuinely forgive ourselves, can we meaningfully contribute to relationships as liberated and equal partners – especially in ongoing ones, such as with family and friends.
Of course, there are cases in which the offense is so vast, such as genocide, that no individual can make full restitution or provide an adequate apology for the wrong.
There are other times when an apology is impossible. Perhaps victims are dead; perhaps a direct apology would retraumatize them or do more harm than good.
In those cases, I would argue, an offender can still attempt to work toward self-forgiveness – acknowledging not only the victim’s intrinsic worth but their own, regardless of their ability to make amends. This in itself is moral growth: appreciating that neither is a mere object that can be manipulated or abused.
The take-home point, I would argue, is that going through the process of self-forgiveness is morally beneficial. It can not only liberate people who tend to reproach themselves incessantly, but it can enhance their ability to relate ethically toward others – to acknowledge wrongdoing, while simultaneously affirming their own value.
Most people have experienced at least one situation in which they inflicted pain on someone else and recognized that their words or actions caused harm. In such situations, we also often feel ashamed of ourselves and attempt to apologize or make amends.
Yet I hope that during this High Holiday season we keep in mind that self-forgiveness should also be considered essential. If moral development means a process in which our self-awareness and character mature, then acknowledging wrongdoing and experiencing shame, followed by self-forgiveness, are indispensable for that process.
Mordechai Gordon, Professor of Education, Quinnipiac University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
(Feature Impact) Nothing looks, feels or functions quite like your natural teeth. They’re designed to last a lifetime and, when properly cared for, they often do. Even in the event of an infection or disease that requires additional care, most Americans agree their natural teeth are worth protecting.
In fact, a survey commissioned by the American Association of Endodontists found 61% of Americans would prefer a treatment that saves their natural tooth and about 78% would do almost anything to avoid losing one.
Despite this strong preference, many people delay or avoid dental care altogether. Financial concerns frequently disrupt dental care, with 60% of survey respondents admitting they’ve put off going to the dentist even when they suspected something was wrong. However, postponing care can turn a manageable problem into a more serious one.
When facing dental problems, like severe tooth pain or infection, some may consider removing the tooth as a quick fix. Extraction isn’t always the best solution, though, and can have lasting consequences on both oral health and confidence.
“When possible, you should always consider treatments to save your teeth,” said Dr. Craig Noblett, president, American Association of Endodontists. “You may think, ‘why not have a tooth pulled, especially if no one can see it,’ but you will know your tooth is missing and it will negatively impact your quality of life. Missing teeth can cause other teeth to shift, affecting your ability to properly chew and ruin your smile.”
Another option exists: root canal treatment. While survey data reveals 39% of people are equally concerned about the procedure and losing a natural tooth, 33% worry more about the procedure itself. However, advancements in technology and anesthesia have made root canals – dental procedures to remove inflamed or infected pulp inside the tooth then clean, fill and seal it – are more comfortable than their reputation suggests, similar to getting a routine filling.
To help maintain your smile for the long-term, consider these tips from Noblett to protect your natural teeth and avoid unnecessary tooth loss:
Act immediately when you experience symptoms of swelling or pain. Pain, swelling or sensitivity shouldn’t be ignored. Acting fast is especially critical in urgent situations. For example, fewer than half of Americans (46%) are aware that a knocked-out tooth can often be saved if treated quickly by a dental specialist. Most endodontists can accommodate emergency cases, even on weekends, ensuring you’ll be seen quickly.- Choose root canal treatment instead of extraction when possible. No denture, bridge or implant will look, feel and function as well as a natural tooth. In many cases, extraction is more painful than the infection itself and replacing an extracted tooth with an artificial one requires additional dental visits that can quickly add up. On the other hand, a root canal completed by an endodontist is virtually painless and typically requires less follow up. In fact, patients who experience root canals are six times more likely to describe it as painless compared to those who have a tooth extracted.
- Ask questions about your treatment options. If your dentist recommends tooth extraction, ask whether a root canal is an alternative. A study published in the “Journal of Translational Medicine” suggests that successfully treating tooth infection and inflammation through root canal therapy may support broader health benefits, including improvements in markers related to blood sugar and cholesterol, reducing both the risk of diabetes and heart disease.
- Look for a specialist if needed. If you’re told root canal is not an option, ask why and request a second opinion. Since endodontists can offer solutions dentists cannot, asking for a referral to a local specialist may allow for more advanced care. You can also use the American Association of Endodontists’ Find an Endodontist search tool to find a practice near you.
Learn more about how endodontists can help protect your natural teeth for a lifetime by visiting aae.org/patients.
SOURCE:
American Association of Endodontists
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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(Feature Impact) Whether you’re enjoying a leisurely weekend morning with the family or savoring those last few moments before rushing out the door, a filling, healthy breakfast is a perfect way to begin the day. Easy recipes that take less than 30 minutes (and can even be prepared the night before) make busy mornings a breeze.
Sheet Pan Pancakes are simple to whip up any day of the week – no flipping required – while Healthy Sausage Breakfast Muffins let you put protein on the menu in a kid-friendly package. When shopping for these delicious breakfasts, look for the Healthy Family Project and Produce for Kids logos to choose healthier foods and make a difference locally.
“Breakfast doesn’t have to be complicated to be powerful – a quick, balanced meal can help kids stay full, focused and energized for the day ahead,” said Tony Castillo, contributing registered dietitian at Healthy Family Project. “For growing kids, a protein-rich breakfast can help support energy, satiety and the building blocks they need as they develop. The best breakfast is one that’s simple, satisfying and realistic for busy mornings because consistency matters more than perfection.”
The versatility of these pancakes allows for endless customization and experimentation with different toppings, from fresh fruit and nuts to savory options like cheese and spinach, making them an ideal fit for the whole family. They also freeze well, so you can pop them in the toaster to have breakfast ready in a flash when hectic schedules interfere with your morning routine.
For another on-the-go solution, these breakfast muffins are made with just five ingredients, including protein pancake mix to help fuel the day. The savory combination of turkey sausage and cheddar cheese is complemented by the sweetness of onion, giving them the flavor your family desires.
To find more ways to put a nutritious breakfast on the family table, visit HealthyFamilyProject.com.
Sheet Pan Pancakes
Recipe courtesy of the Healthy Family Project
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 5 minutes
Servings: 6
- Nonstick cooking spray
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 1/4 cups milk
- 1 large egg
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
- 1/2 cup sliced strawberries
- 1/4 cup blueberries
- 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips
- Preheat oven to 425 F. Cover baking sheet with parchment paper and spray with nonstick cooking spray. Set aside.
- In large bowl, mix flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Add milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.
- Pour batter onto prepared baking sheet and smooth into even layer that covers pan. Top with strawberries, blueberries and chocolate chips.
- Bake 5-7 minutes, or until cooked and golden brown. Let cool slightly before cutting into squares.
Healthy Sausage Breakfast Muffins
Recipe courtesy of the Healthy Family Project
Prep time: 3 minutes
Cook time: 23 minutes
Servings: 12
- Nonstick cooking spray
- 1 onion, diced
- 1 pound turkey sausage
- 4 eggs
- 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
- 1 cup protein pancake mix
- Preheat oven to 350 F.
- Spray 12-cup muffin pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.
- Spray large skillet with nonstick cooking spray.
- In prepared skillet over medium heat, cook onion until translucent. Add turkey sausage and cook until no longer pink. Remove from heat.
- In large mixing bowl, lightly beat eggs. Add shredded cheese, pancake mix and sausage and onion mixture; mix well.
- Fill prepared muffin cups about 3/4 full with mixture.
- Bake 18-20 minutes, or until golden brown on top.
SOURCE:
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Visit our Food & Drink section to get the latest on Foodie News and recipes, offering a delightful blend of culinary inspiration and gastronomic trends to elevate your dining experience. https://stmdailynews.com/food-and-drink/
Last Updated on May 16, 2026 by Daily News Staff
National Small Business Month
Every May, communities across the United States recognize Small Business Month, a time dedicated to celebrating the entrepreneurs, family-owned companies, startups, and local shops that help drive the American economy. From neighborhood restaurants to innovative tech startups, small businesses continue to play a vital role in creating jobs, supporting communities, and inspiring innovation.
According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, small businesses account for millions of jobs nationwide and represent the backbone of local economies. Throughout May, organizations, chambers of commerce, and business leaders host networking events, educational workshops, and promotional campaigns to support entrepreneurs and encourage consumers to shop locally.
One of the highlights of the month is National Small Business Week, which honors outstanding entrepreneurs and business owners making a difference in their communities.
For consumers, Small Business Month is also a reminder that supporting local businesses helps strengthen neighborhoods and keeps communities thriving. Whether it’s dining at a local café, shopping at an independent store, or hiring a local service provider, every purchase can make an impact.
Learn more about Small Business Month and related events through the official U.S. Small Business Administrationwebsite.
Related External Links
- U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA)
- National Small Business Week – SBA
- SCORE – Mentoring and Resources for Small Businesses
- U.S. Chamber of Commerce – Small Business Resources
- Forbes Small Business News and Insights
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
