Lifestyle
Self-forgiveness is more than self-comfort − a philosopher explains
Self-forgiveness requires confronting negative emotions, acknowledging wrongdoing, and is essential for moral growth and healthier relationships.
Last Updated on March 7, 2026 by Daily News Staff
Mordechai Gordon, Quinnipiac University
As the Jewish High Holidays approach, which begin with Rosh Hashanah and continue with Yom Kippur, the theme of forgiveness keeps coming to my mind.
The 10 days from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur are referred to in the Jewish tradition as the days of repentance, or the days of awe. During this period, Jews who observe the holidays implore God to respond to their sins with mercy, while also requesting forgiveness from anyone those individuals may have wronged in the past year.
Most conversations about forgiveness focus on the meaning and value of forgiving others. Douglas Stewart, a philosopher of education who has researched forgiveness extensively, writes that to forgive implies a willingness to let go of our negative emotions or hard feelings and to adopt in their place a more generous and compassionate attitude toward our wrongdoers.
Other philosophers have pointed out that the benefits of forgiveness include overcoming resentment, restoring relationships and setting a wrong to rest in the past – without vengeance. As such, to forgive should be considered morally valuable and admirable.
But what about self-forgiveness? Is it morally valuable, or just something we do to make ourselves feel better? And what is self-forgiveness, anyway?
As a philosopher of education, some of my own research has wrestled with these questions.
Defining self-forgiveness
Self-forgiveness means managing to work through painful feelings such as guilt, shame and deep disappointment with ourselves. It entails transforming negative attitudes, such as contempt, anger and shame, into more positive emotions such as respect and humility.
It is important to recognize, however, that a wrongdoer cannot simply reject shame: They must confront it. Moral philosophers such as Byron Williston assert that people who have deeply wronged others, such as betraying a loved one, need to experience shame and take responsibility for their actions – such as asking for forgiveness. Otherwise, an attempt at self-forgiveness is not likely to be meaningful.
Finally, we need to keep in mind that self-forgiveness does not imply someone has extinguished all the negative feelings directed at themselves or is done with self-reproach. This would amount to an impossible goal.
Rather, as philosopher Robin Dillon pointed out, self-forgiveness suggests that someone is no longer being consumed or overwhelmed by those negative feelings. In short, it is possible to forgive ourselves and still view ourselves with a demanding and critical eye.
Moral development
Getting there, though, is not easy. Self-forgiveness entails working through a rigorous process of coming to terms with wrongdoing.
According to ethicist Margaret Holmgren, that process includes at least four steps: acknowledging that what we did was wrong; coming to terms with why it was wrong; allowing ourselves to experience grief and self-resentment at having injured another person; and, finally, making a genuine effort to correct the attitudes that led to the harmful act and making amends to the victim.
In other words, confronting negative emotions, attitudes and patterns is essential prior to attempting to restore relationships with others. Only once we are able to relax the preoccupation with guilt and shame, and to genuinely forgive ourselves, can we meaningfully contribute to relationships as liberated and equal partners – especially in ongoing ones, such as with family and friends.
Of course, there are cases in which the offense is so vast, such as genocide, that no individual can make full restitution or provide an adequate apology for the wrong.
There are other times when an apology is impossible. Perhaps victims are dead; perhaps a direct apology would retraumatize them or do more harm than good.
In those cases, I would argue, an offender can still attempt to work toward self-forgiveness – acknowledging not only the victim’s intrinsic worth but their own, regardless of their ability to make amends. This in itself is moral growth: appreciating that neither is a mere object that can be manipulated or abused.
The take-home point, I would argue, is that going through the process of self-forgiveness is morally beneficial. It can not only liberate people who tend to reproach themselves incessantly, but it can enhance their ability to relate ethically toward others – to acknowledge wrongdoing, while simultaneously affirming their own value.
Most people have experienced at least one situation in which they inflicted pain on someone else and recognized that their words or actions caused harm. In such situations, we also often feel ashamed of ourselves and attempt to apologize or make amends.
Yet I hope that during this High Holiday season we keep in mind that self-forgiveness should also be considered essential. If moral development means a process in which our self-awareness and character mature, then acknowledging wrongdoing and experiencing shame, followed by self-forgiveness, are indispensable for that process.
Mordechai Gordon, Professor of Education, Quinnipiac University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Consumer Corner
5 Summer Safety Risks Homeowners Often Overlook When Hosting
Summer is the perfect season for gathering outdoors with friends and family, but if you’re a homeowner planning to host barbecues, pool parties or holiday celebrations this year, it’s important to consider the potential safety and liability risks that may be affecting your own backyard. Set your summer up for success by paying special attention to these five often-overlooked seasonal safety risks.
5 Summer Safety Risks Homeowners Often Overlook When Hosting
(Feature Impact) Summer is the perfect season for gathering outdoors with friends and family, but if you’re a homeowner planning to host barbecues, pool parties or holiday celebrations this year, it’s important to consider the potential safety and liability risks that may be affecting your own backyard. A little advance planning can help you ensure that your guests enjoy safe, healthy experiences at your home and leave with only happy memories.
According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, thousands of injuries each year are linked to fireworks, grills and swimming pools. While most summer gatherings end without incident, Mercury Insurance is encouraging homeowners to remember that smart preparation can help you avoid unfortunate accidents and costly damage.
“A few simple safety checks can help homeowners create a safer environment for everyone while protecting the property they’ve worked hard to build,” said Larry Anderson, underwriting operations director at Mercury Insurance.
Set your summer up for success by paying special attention to these five often-overlooked seasonal safety risks.
Guest Injuries and Liability Risks
Since summer gatherings naturally increase foot traffic around a property, it should be safe to walk around. Uneven walkways, loose decking, poor lighting and pet-related incidents can all lead to injuries that homeowners may not anticipate.
Before hosting events, audit your property to repair trip hazards and ensure walkways and outdoor gathering areas are well-lit. If you have pets that may become stressed around large groups, secure them before guests arrive. Since unforeseen events can still occur despite your best efforts, review your liability coverage to understand available protections.
Unsupervised Pool Areas
Swimming pools can provide endless summer fun, but they also present one of the most serious safety risks around the home. Drowning remains a leading cause of accidental death for young children, making active supervision essential whenever children are near water.
If your backyard includes a pool, ensure that gates and barriers are functioning properly, keep rescue equipment nearby and consider pool alarms and self-closing gates for additional protection. Most importantly, never leave children unattended around water.
Backyard Grill Fires
Grilling is a summer tradition, but outdoor cooking equipment can quickly become a fire hazard if used improperly. Placing your grill too close to flammable objects, letting grease build up and leaving the grill unattended can all increase the risk of property damage.
Start by making sure your grill is set up at least 10 feet away from homes, fences and overhangs before you fire it up. Clean grease trays regularly, never leave a grill unattended while cooking and keep a fire extinguisher accessible during outdoor cooking.
Fireworks Too Close to Homes and Landscaping
Fireworks-related fires increase significantly during summer, particularly in dry climates where even one stray spark can ignite vegetation or nearby structures.
The safest option, when possible, is to attend professional displays rather than hosting your own. However, if you’re planning on lighting up your skies this summer, follow all local laws and restrictions regarding fireworks and keep your launch site well away from homes, vehicles and dry landscaping. Have a water source readily available when using legal consumer fireworks.
Outdoor Electrical Hazards
Extension cords, decorative lighting, outdoor speakers and fans often receive extra use during summer gatherings. Damaged cords or overloaded outlets can create shock and fire hazards. As you set up your summer entertainment systems, check your equipment to be sure it’s rated for outdoor use. Keep electrical connections away from pools and water features, avoid overloading electrical outlets and take a few extra minutes before each gathering to inspect outdoor cords for wear and damage.
“Most homeowners focus on making their gatherings enjoyable, but safety should be part of the preparation process,” Anderson said. “Taking a few minutes to identify potential hazards before guests arrive can help prevent accidents and allow everyone to focus on enjoying the season.”
For more home safety resources and insurance information, visit MercuryInsurance.com/Resources.
Photos courtesy of Shutterstock
SOURCE:
Mercury Insurance
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Health
How Young Adults Can Build a Healthier Future
Bridging national service and public health, the initiative supports a diverse group of early career professionals working to address today’s public health challenges in a range of roles
(Family Features) Shaping the future of public health into an equitable one means ensuring all people and communities have access to the health care and resources they need to live well. The nation requires a strong, diverse public health workforce to accomplish that goal.
That’s why AmeriCorps and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention launched Public Health AmeriCorps – to support the recruitment, training and development of early career public health workers who can serve their local communities.
Bridging national service and public health, the initiative supports a diverse group of early career professionals working to address today’s public health challenges in a range of roles, including:
- Health education and training
- Community outreach and engagement
- System navigation, referrals and linkage to care
- Research, data collection, analysis and assessment
What Members are Saying
Everyone was impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic – including Dionne Johnson, who lost a loved one to the virus.
“I had a family member die from COVID-19, and it really touched me,” Johnson said. “That gave me the passion and lit the fire under me to actually pursue a career in public health.”
Now, Johnson is realizing her dreams of transforming public health in her community. In her work, she wants to teach people in Black and brown communities how they can learn to be healthy and advocate for themselves.
Another member, Jaiden Singh, is the son of immigrants. Singh launched a promising career in public health so he can give back to the community where he grew up.
“Being a part of the organization not only has really supplemented my education that I’m working toward in public health and policy, it has also given me the opportunity to do work that I am really passionate about in a community that I have known all my life and really do love,” Singh said. “I would highly recommend being a part of this really valuable and inspiring community.”
Action That Creates Impact
The diverse work of Public Health AmeriCorps benefits not only program members but also the communities they serve. As examples of the program at work, members have:
- Provided overdose rescue education, raised awareness about opioid use disorder and harm reduction strategies and distributed overdose rescue kits containing naloxone (an overdose-reversing nasal spray).
- Held back-to-school COVID-19 testing events, distributed early childhood health education and built community gardens in underserved communities.
- Participated in a community mental health crisis intervention system to assess, stabilize and link people in crisis to follow-up care and services.
- Supported elementary schools as part of a dental hygiene program that sends out staff and volunteers to provide free teeth cleanings to students.
Learn More and Apply
If you want to start your career and make a difference in public health, consider member benefits such as:
- Education awards to apply to higher education or student loan forgiveness
- Student loan deferment and forbearance
- Living allowance
- Hands-on experience
- Training from experts
Visit AmeriCorps.gov/PublicHealth for a list of opportunities to serve and contact your desired opportunity by phone or email to learn more and apply. You can also subscribe to the newsletter to learn more about the initiative.
SOURCE:
AmeriCorps
Lifestyle
The big summer trip is getting harder to pull off. What families are doing instead.
Big Summer Trip: Ask most Americans about their favorite summer memory, and water shows up somewhere — a lake at dusk, a boat rocking gently, quiet mornings with nowhere else to be.
The big summer trip is getting harder to pull off. What families are doing instead.
(Tiffany Miller) Ask most Americans about their favorite summer memory, and water shows up somewhere — a lake at dusk, a boat rocking gently, quiet mornings with nowhere else to be. For a lot of them, that feeling has been easier to remember than recreate.
As travel costs climb and traditional vacations feel increasingly complicated, the appeal of something closer to home has grown. Each year, 85 million Americans find it on the water, according to the National Marine Manufacturers Association (NMMA).
Part of boating’s appeal is rooted in nostalgia and connection. Many people are drawn to the kinds of unplugged experiences tied to childhood — time outdoors, shared adventures and uninterrupted moments together. According to a Discover Boating survey, 85% of current boat owners say their fondest childhood memories involved being on the water, with nearly half recalling those experiences before age 13.
The costs look different when stacked against a traditional vacation. According to NMMA, a week at an all-inclusive resort for a family of four runs around $5,000 to $8,000. Boat rentals run around $75 per hour, entry-level boat financing costs a few hundred dollars a month and boat club memberships offer access to multiple boats for a monthly fee, typically $150 to $375 after a one-time initiation fee. Many families are discovering that boating can offer multiple smaller vacations throughout the summer at a comparable cost.
Those lower-commitment options are more than just a budgeting tool — they are a first step into the lifestyle. According to the survey, 45% of prospective boat buyers expressed interest in renting or chartering before committing to a purchase, while interest in boat clubs and fractional ownership also remained high. The survey further found that 49% plan to own within two years, and 46% are focused on boats priced under $50,000.
For Americans deciding how to spend their time this summer, that flexibility may be part of boating’s growing appeal. It offers something many vacations promise but do not always deliver: the ability to truly disconnect and be present — not just once a year, but repeatedly throughout the season.
The pull toward the water may be deeper than nostalgia. Research shows there’s a connection between water and well-being — the sight and sound of water can help people feel calmer, lower stress and support overall wellness. The concept of “Blue Mind” describes the mild meditative state associated with being near, in, on or under water. For families looking to unplug, boating offers a way to step away from screens, slow down and recharge.
Methodology
The quantitative survey was fielded Aug. 22, 2025 through Sept. 12, 2025. It included 500 boat owners and 500 prospective owners. Boat owners are defined as those who own (or used to own) a boat and consider their primary vessel a motorized/power boat or sailboat. Prospective owners are defined as 50% or more likely to purchase a motorized/power boat or sailboat in the future and not a current or lapsed owner. Note: All insights collected reflect opinions of surveyed boat owners and prospective owners only.
Photo courtesy of Shutterstock
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