The Substitute Teacher Who Wanted Blueprints of Our House

Elementary school memories tend to blend together — cafeteria pizza, playground arguments, the eternal struggle of times tables — but every once in a while, something happens that sticks with you for life. For me, that moment came in the fifth grade during a week when our regular teacher was out, and we cycled through substitute teachers like we were testing models for durability.

By midweek, in walked a substitute with a mysterious, slightly intense energy — the kind of vibe that suggested he either meditated at dawn or worked a graveyard shift doing something he couldn’t talk about. We settled into our seats, expecting worksheets or quiet reading time.

But nope.

He had other plans.

“Today,” he announced, “we’re going to draw schematics of our houses.”

Schematics. Not drawings. Not little houses with smoke coming out of the chimney. Actual blueprint-style schematics. He wanted the layout of our bedrooms, our parents’ rooms, and where the pets slept. Every detail.

Now, to be fair, Highlights Magazine did have a feature that month teaching kids how to draw floor plans. So maybe he was just a bit overenthusiastic about cross-curricular learning. Or maybe — and this is my completely rhetorical adult theory — he worked the graveyard shift as a cat burglar gathering intel between heists. Just moonlighting between blueprints.

While the rest of the class tried their best to recreate their actual homes, my imagination sprinted in a totally different direction. The house I drew had:

• A massive master bedroom with an oversized bathroom for my parents
• Separate bedrooms for us kids on the opposite side of the house
• A kitchen placed right in the center like a command center
• And the dog — the true VIP — had a luxurious two-story doghouse

I had basically created a dream home designed by a 10-year-old watching too much Fantasy Homes by the Yard.

Later that day, my mom asked the usual question: “So, what did you guys do today?”

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“We drew schematics of our house,” I said casually.

The look on her face was instant and intense. She wasn’t panicked, but there was definitely a “Why does a substitute teacher need to know the exact layout of my home?” expression happening. Parental instincts activated.

But then I showed her my diagram.

She stared at it. Blinked. Then sighed with massive relief.

“This isn’t our house,” she said.

“Nope! I made it up,” I replied proudly.

Her shoulders relaxed so much she probably lost five pounds of tension in one instant. If the substitute was secretly planning a heist, my masterpiece of misinformation would have sent him to the wrong house entirely.

Looking back, the whole moment feels like a sitcom setup — a mysterious substitute collecting “house schematics,” me creating a completely fictional piece of architecture, and my mom going on a full emotional journey in under 30 seconds.

Maybe he was just excited about the Highlights Magazine floor-plan activity. Or maybe — just maybe — he moonlighted in cat burglary. We’ll never know.

But if he was, I like to think I threw him completely off the scent.

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Jay Mohr’s long-running podcast is expanding to FAST television through an exclusive LG Channels launch in the U.S. and Canada.

Cineverse has announced the launch of Mohr Stories, a new free ad-supported streaming television channel built around comedian Jay Mohr’s long-running podcast. Unveiled during LG Electronics and LG Ad Solutions’ 2026 IAB NewFronts presentation, the channel will be available exclusively through LG Channels on LG TVs in the United States and Canada.

The new channel will feature weekly episodes alongside more than 100 hours of library content, giving the show a larger footprint in the growing FAST market. Hosted by Mohr, the series includes conversations with guests from comedy, film, sports, music, and television, including Ron Funches, Jay Leno, Joe Mantegna, Patton Oswalt, Kevin Pollak, Andy Richter, George Wallace, Flavor Flav, Michael Eric Dyson, Seth Rollins, Gene Simmons, Billy Gibbons, Byron Scott, and Jeanie Buss.

The launch is notable not only because of the talent involved, but because it reflects a broader shift in how podcast brands are being distributed. What once lived primarily as an audio product is now being packaged as a 24/7 streaming destination, built for connected TV audiences and ad-supported discovery.

Cineverse said Mohr Stories will continue to be available as a podcast through the WITZ Podcast Network, a partnership between Cineverse and The Stand Group. The company also pointed to strong audience momentum after the show expanded into video, saying consumption hours on Spotify rose 50% month over month and downloads increased 34% quarter over quarter.

That growth aligns with wider audience behavior. In the U.S., more than 150 million people listen to podcasts every month, and an increasing share of those consumers are also watching podcast content on video platforms. As those habits continue to evolve, media companies are looking for ways to extend proven shows beyond their original format.

For LG Channels, the addition of Mohr Stories strengthens a FAST lineup built around free, accessible programming across a wide range of genres. For Cineverse, it underscores a strategy centered on expanding the reach and value of entertainment properties across multiple platforms.

The result is more than a new celebrity-led channel. It is another example of how streaming, podcasting, and digital video are converging into a more flexible content ecosystem—one where recognizable brands can move fluidly from audio feeds to connected television.

Related Links

• Cineverse official website
• LG Electronics official website

Source

• Original press release via PR Newswire

Cineverse Partners With VA Media to Expand YouTube Monetization Strategy

Cineverse has announced a strategic partnership with VA Media to accelerate growth and digital monetization across its expanding portfolio of fandom-focused YouTube channels.

The agreement will bring a YouTube-first strategy to Cineverse’s channel network, including longform and shortform content planning, channel optimization, financial modeling, and broader monetization support. The partnership will begin with Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, which Cineverse identified as its top revenue-generating YouTube channel.

Cineverse said its owned or operated YouTube channels currently account for more than 10 million subscribers and over 200 million video views. The company’s digital portfolio spans genres including horror, anime, romance, indie film, Asian cinema, and other fandom-driven categories.

VA Media, which specializes in YouTube strategy and social video monetization, will work with Cineverse to improve discoverability, strengthen channel performance, and unlock new revenue opportunities across YouTube and adjacent platforms.

The partnership reflects the growing role of YouTube as a core distribution and monetization channel for premium entertainment content.

For more information, visit Cineverse.

External Links

• Cineverse official website
• Cineverse media contact
• Cineverse investor relations

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