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‘Bouncing back’ is a myth – resilience means integrating hard experiences into your life story, not ignoring them

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Into each life some rain must fall. Anastasiia Voloshko/Moment via Getty Images

Keith M. Bellizzi, University of Connecticut

How to Build Resilience

When Maria looked at herself in the mirror for the first time after her mastectomy, she stood very still.

One hand rested on the bathroom counter. The other hovered near the flat space where her breast had been. The scar was raw and angry. The loss was quiet but enormous. Her body felt foreign.

In moments like these, people are often urged to be resilient – which can feel like being told to show no weakness, to push through no matter what. Or they imagine resilience as bouncing back: returning somehow unscathed to be the person you were before.

But standing in that bathroom, Maria knew there was no going back. And toughness wouldn’t change what had happened. The real question was how she could move forward, carrying this experience into her new reality.

Maria’s story, one I came to know personally, is far from unique. Loss, trauma and illness often bring the same wrenching questions of identity and the painful uncertainty of what comes next.

I’ve spent more than two decades studying resilience, particularly among individuals and families navigating these kinds of life-changing events. I am also a four-time cancer survivor and author of a new book, “Falling Forward: The New Science of Resilience and Personal Transformation.” If there is one myth I wish society would retire, it’s the idea that resilience means “toughness” or “bouncing back.”

woman wearing hat seated in wheelchair looks outside
Resilience doesn’t rely on relentless positivity in the face of traumatic challenges. pocketlight/iStock via Getty Images Plus

Rethinking resilience based on research

Moments like Maria’s reveal something important: The way people tend to talk about resilience often doesn’t match how people actually live through adversity.

In popular culture, resilience is often equated with grit, toughness or relentless positivity. People celebrate the warrior, the fighter, the triumphant survivor.

But across research, clinical practice and lived experience, resilience is something far more nuanced, raw and human.

It’s not a personality trait that some people simply have and others lack. Decades of research show resilience is a dynamic process. It’s shaped by the small, everyday decisions and adjustments individuals make as they adapt to significant adversity while maintaining, or gradually regaining, their psychological and physical footing over time.

And importantly, resilience does not mean the absence of distress.

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Research on people facing serious life disruptions shows that distress and resilience often coexist. For example, in my study of adolescent and young adult cancer survivors, participants reported being upset about finances, body image and disrupted life plans, while simultaneously highlighting positive changes, such as strengthened relationships and a greater sense of purpose.

Resilience, in other words, is not about erasing pain and suffering. It is about learning how to integrate difficult experiences into a life that continues forward.

How resilience really works

At one point, Maria told me she had started avoiding mirrors, intimacy, even conversations that made others uncomfortable.

“Well, you’re strong,” people would tell her. “Just stay positive. This too shall pass.”

But strength, she said, felt like a performance.

What ultimately shifted for Maria was not an increase in toughness. It was permission to grieve.

She began speaking openly about the loss of her breast; not just as a medical procedure but as a symbolic loss tied to identity, sexuality and womanhood. She joined a support group. She allowed herself to feel anger alongside gratitude for survival.

This kind of emotional processing turns out to be central to resilience.

My colleagues and I have found that people who actively process loss, rather than suppress it, demonstrate better long-term adjustment. Tamping down negative feelings may provide short-term relief, but over time it is associated with greater stress on your body and more difficulty adapting.

In other words, resilience is not about sealing the wound and pretending it no longer aches. It is about learning how to carry the wound without letting it consume your entire story.

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Neuroscience supports this integration model. When people engage in meaning-making – reflecting on their experiences and incorporating them into a coherent life narrative – brain networks associated with emotional regulation and cognitive flexibility become more active. The brain, quite literally, reorganizes as you adapt to new realities.

Maria described the change simply.

“I don’t like what happened,” she told me. “But I’m not at war with my body anymore.”

That is resilience.

Arms in sweater with hand writing in a journal
Acknowledging what’s been lost can be part of the process of resilience. Grace Cary/Moment via Getty Images

Practices that help build resilience

If resilience is about integration rather than toughness and bouncing back, how can you cultivate it? Research across psychology, neuroscience and chronic illness points to several evidence-based strategies:

  • Allow emotional complexity: Resilient people are not relentlessly positive. They allow space for the full range of emotions, such as gratitude and grief, hope and fear. Paying attention to your feelings through strategies such as reflective writing or psychotherapy have been linked to improved psychological adaptation.
  • Build a coherent narrative: Human beings are storytellers. Trauma can shatter one’s sense of self, but constructing a narrative that acknowledges loss while identifying continuity and growth supports adaptation. The goal is not to spin suffering into silver linings, but to situate it within a broader life story. For example, someone might say, “Cancer derailed my plans and changed my body, but it also clarified what matters to me and how I want to move forward.”
  • Lean into connection: Isolation magnifies suffering. Social support is one of the strongest predictors of how well people are able to cope and move forward after illness or trauma. For Maria, connection with other women who had had mastectomies normalized her experience and reduced shame.
  • Practice deliberate pauses: Intentionally give yourself some time to breathe. Mindfulness and contemplative solitude can strengthen your ability to regulate emotions and recover from stress. Pausing allows experience to be processed rather than avoided.
  • Expand identity: Illness, loss and trauma reshape how you think of yourself. Rather than clinging to who you were, resilience often involves expanding who you are becoming. Research on post-traumatic growth shows that people often report deeper relationships, clarified priorities and renewed purpose – not because trauma was good, but because it forced reevaluation. Maria no longer describes herself simply as a breast cancer patient. She is a survivor, yes, but also an advocate, a mentor, a woman whose sense of femininity is self-defined rather than dictated by her anatomy.

Moving forward

We are living in a time of widespread burnout and rising mental health challenges, where cultural pressure to appear strong often leaves people silently struggling. An insistence on grit and relentless optimism can backfire, making people feel inadequate when they inevitably feel pain.

Resilience is not about returning to who you were before illness, loss or trauma. It is about becoming someone new: someone who carries the scar, remembers the loss and still chooses to engage with life.

Maria still pauses when she sees her reflection. But she no longer turns away.

“This is my body,” she told me recently. “This is my story.”

Resilience is not forged in the denial of vulnerability, but in its acceptance. Not in bouncing back, but in integrating what has happened into who you are becoming.

And that, I believe, is where real strength lives.

Keith M. Bellizzi, Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences, University of Connecticut

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This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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Navigating Cholesterol: What You Need to Know for a Healthy Heart

Navigating Cholesterol: Cholesterol is a crucial substance for the body but can pose risks when levels of “bad” LDL cholesterol are too high. The American Heart Association emphasizes regular screenings, healthy lifestyle choices, and informed care to manage cholesterol and reduce heart disease risks. Early screening in children is also vital for long-term health.

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Last Updated on April 29, 2026 by Daily News Staff

Navigating Cholesterol: What You Need to Know for a Healthy Heart

Navigating Cholesterol: What You Need to Know for a Healthy Heart

(Feature Impact) With so much information available, it can be difficult to understand what cholesterol is – and why it’s important.

Knowing your personal risk of developing heart disease and managing your cholesterol early through healthy habits, regular screening and informed care is key for heart and brain health.

This advice from the American Heart Association can help you understand why cholesterol matters, how to manage it and how lifestyle habits may affect your long-term heart health.

Cholesterol is Essential

Cholesterol is a waxy substance found throughout your body. Your body makes all the cholesterol it needs for important jobs, such as helping to build cells and make certain hormones. The concern is having too much “bad” cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein, or LDL) in the blood, which can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke. Having enough “good” cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein, or HDL) in your blood can help reduce your risk.

“Cholesterol itself isn’t the enemy – our bodies need moderate levels to function,” said Roger S. Blumenthal, MD, FAHA, chair of the 2026 Dyslipidemia Guideline writing group and an American Heart Association national volunteer expert and cardiologist. “The goal is balance. Healthy lifestyle habits are a powerful step in keeping LDL cholesterol in a healthy range and protecting your heart and brain over the long term.”

Cholesterol in Your Blood vs. Cholesterol in Food

Too much blood cholesterol – the type measured on a cholesterol test – can cause plaque buildup in arteries (atherosclerosis), increasing your risk for heart disease and stroke. Blood cholesterol levels are influenced by overall eating patterns, lifestyle habits, genetics and other health factors, not just the cholesterol found in foods. Enjoy vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds, unsaturated fats and lean proteins as part of an overall healthy eating pattern. Limit ultra-processed foods that are high in saturated fats, added sugars and sodium. 

17798 B detail embed2Know Your Numbers and Understand Your Risk

Adults ages 19 and older should have their cholesterol checked at least every five years, as recommended by the American Heart Association.

A lipid profile, or cholesterol test, is a blood test that will provide results for your HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, triglycerides and total blood cholesterol. Other risk factors like age, family history, smoking status and more should also be considered to determine your risk of developing heart disease or stroke. Work with your health care professional to understand your results and design a treatment plan based on your risk.

Managing Cholesterol: Lifestyle is Essential

For many people, healthy lifestyle habits are the foundation of cholesterol management. Eating a nutritious diet, getting regular physical activity, maintaining a healthy weight, getting enough sleep, avoiding tobacco products and managing blood pressure and blood sugar can all help support heart health.

Cholesterol-Lowering Medications

In addition to healthy lifestyle habits, some people may require cholesterol-lowering medication based on their overall risk of developing heart disease or stroke. If side effects occur, talk with a health care professional. Another medication or approach may be a better fit, and staying on the recommended treatment plan can support long-term heart health.

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Cholesterol in Children

High cholesterol doesn’t just affect adults. It can begin in childhood, particularly for children with inherited conditions or other risk factors, which is why early screening is important.

Cholesterol screening is recommended for children not previously screened between the ages of 9-11 to help assess risk and guide care, along with kickstarting wellness habits such as prioritizing healthy foods, daily exercise and adequate sleep. These small lifestyle changes can help reduce the risk of heart disease and stroke through adulthood.

For more information and heart health resources, visit Heart.org/KnowYourCholesterol.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock

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SOURCE:

American Heart Association

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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HEPA air purifiers may boost brain power in adults over 40 – new research

Using a HEPA air purifier at home for one month was linked to a small but significant boost in executive function for adults 40+, according to new research on traffic-related air pollution.

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HEPA air purifiers may boost brain power in adults over 40 – new research
Air pollution can negatively affect the brain. Jomkwan/iStock via Getty Images Plus

Nicholas Pellegrino, University of Connecticut; Doug Brugge, University of Connecticut, and Misha Eliasziw, Tufts University

HEPA air purifiers may boost brain power in adults over 40 – new research

Using an in-home HEPA purifier for one month spurs a small but significant improvement in brain function in adults age 40 and older. That’s the result of a new study we co-authored in the journal Scientific Reports.

HEPA purifiers – HEPA stands for high efficiency particulate air – remove particulate matter from the air. Exposure to particulate matter has been connected to respiratory and cardiovascular illnesses as well as neurological diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Environmental health researchers increasingly recommend that people use HEPA air purifiers in their homes to lower their exposure to particulate matter, but few studies have examined whether using them boosts mental function.

We analyzed data from a study of 119 people ages 30 to 74 living in Somerville, Massachusetts. Somerville sits along Interstate 93 and Route 28, two major highways, resulting in relatively high levels of traffic-related air pollution. This makes it an especially good location for testing the health effects of air purifiers.

We randomly assigned participants to one of two groups. One used a HEPA air purifier for one month and then a sham air purifier – which looked and acted like the real thing but did not contain the air-cleaning filter – for one month, with a monthlong break in between. The second group used the real and sham purifiers in reverse order.

After each month, participants took a test that measured different aspects of their mental capacity. The test probed people’s visual memory and motor speed skills by measuring how quickly they could draw lines between sequential numbers, and it tested executive function and mental flexibility by asking them to draw lines between alternating sequential numbers and letters.

We found that participants 40 years and older – about 42% of our sample – on average completed the section testing for mental flexibility and executive function 12% faster after using the HEPA purifier than after using the sham purifier. That was true even when we accounted for factors like differences in the amount of time participants spent indoors, with either filter, as well as how stressful they found the test.

This improvement may seem small, but it is similar to the cognitive benefits that people experience from increasing their daily exercise. While you may not experience a sudden increase in clarity from a 12% boost, preventing cognitive decline is vital for long-term well-being. Even small decreases in cognitive functioning may be associated with a higher risk of death. https://www.youtube.com/embed/CKpg3qCMXi4?wmode=transparent&start=0 Studies increasingly show that air pollution can be detrimental to brain health.

Why it matters

Air pollution can negatively affect mental function after just a few hours of exposure. Studies show that air purifiers are effective at reducing particulates, but it’s unclear whether these reductions can prevent cognitive harm from ongoing pollution sources like traffic. Research has been especially lacking in people living near major sources of air pollution, such as highways.

People living near highways or major roadways are exposed to more air pollution and also experience higher rates of air pollution-related diseases. These risks aren’t encountered by all Americans equally: People of color and low-income people are more likely to live near highways or areas with heavy traffic.

Our study shows that HEPA air purifiers may offer meaningful health benefits under these circumstances.

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What still isn’t known

Research shows that air pollution begins to affect cognitive function especially strongly around age 40. These effects may become increasingly prominent as people age.

HEPA air purifiers may therefore be especially beneficial for older adults. Our study did not explore this possibility, as fewer than 10 of our 119 participants were over the age of 60.

Also, our participants only used a HEPA air purifier for one month. It’s possible that longer durations of air purification may sustain or even increase the improvement in cognitive function we observed in our study.

Finally, it is unclear exactly how air purifiers improve cognition. Some studies suggest that exposure to particulate matter reduces the amount of the brain’s white matter, which helps brain cells conduct electrical signals and maintains connections between brain regions. The brain regions most harmed by air pollution are the ones that control mental flexibility and executive function, the same domains in which we saw improvements in our study.

We plan to study whether reducing particulate matter by using air purifiers is indeed protecting the brain’s white matter, and whether it could reverse some cognitive decline. We will explore that possibility by studying how levels of molecules called metabolites, which cells produce as they do their jobs, change in response to breathing polluted air and air cleaned by a HEPA filter.

The Research Brief is a short take on interesting academic work.

Nicholas Pellegrino, Research Associate in Public Health Sciences, University of Connecticut; Doug Brugge, Professor of Public Health Science and Community Medicine, University of Connecticut, and Misha Eliasziw, Associate Professor of Biostatistics, Public Health and Community Medicine, Tufts University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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Stopping the ‘Silent Killer:’ How to Check, Prevent and Manage High Blood Pressure

Stopping the Silent Killer: High blood pressure poses significant health risks for people of all ages, but there are effective ways to both prevent and manage this “silent killer” by working with a health care professional to make lifestyle changes.

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Stopping the 'Silent Killer

Stopping the ‘Silent Killer:’ How to Check, Prevent and Manage High Blood Pressure

(Feature Impact) High blood pressure poses significant health risks for people of all ages, but there are effective ways to both prevent and manage this “silent killer” by working with a health care professional to make lifestyle changes.

Hypertension, also known as high blood pressure, is when the force of blood flowing through blood vessels is consistently too high. This condition makes the heart work harder than normal and can damage arteries, increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke and other health problems.

High blood pressure is the leading risk factor for stroke and heart conditions such as coronary artery disease, heart failure and atrial fibrillation. Strengthening evidence also shows high blood pressure is linked to risk of cognitive decline and dementia, which is why the American Heart Association is working to increase awareness and encourage people to manage blood pressure. Protect your heart and brain both now and in the future with this information and wellness advice.

Who Can Have High Blood Pressure?

Anyone can develop high blood pressure, which is why it’s encouraged for everyone – in all age groups, including children and young adults – to have their blood pressure checked at annual physicals or wellness checkups. For those with a history of high blood pressure or risk factors for developing the condition, more frequent measurements may be recommended.

Major risk factors for high blood pressure include excess weight, diabetes, high cholesterol, smoking, lack of physical activity, alcohol consumption and a diet high in sodium and low in potassium.

Nearly half of adults in the U.S. have high blood pressure and many don’t even know it. Of those with high blood pressure, about 75% don’t have the condition under control. Because it typically shows no symptoms, it’s often called a “silent killer.”

How is Blood Pressure Checked?

17852 B detail embed2To get the best blood pressure reading, sit in a chair with support for your back with both feet flat on the ground.

Use a validated, automatic, cuff-style, upper-arm monitor. Remove clothing over the arm that will be used and rest for at least 5 minutes. Extend your arm and support it at heart level while staying quiet and still then take multiple readings and record the results. Aim to measure at the same time each day.

For most adults, a normal blood pressure reading should be less than 120/80 mm Hg.

What Happens After a High Blood Pressure Diagnosis?

Recognizing and taking quick action to control high blood pressure can significantly lower the risk of severe health consequences, including heart attack and stroke, and improve overall health. If you’ve been diagnosed with high blood pressure, work with a health care professional to design a treatment plan that works for you. It may include lifestyle changes to your diet or activity levels or medication.

How Can High Blood Pressure Be Prevented or Managed?

Preventing high blood pressure is possible. Talk with a health care professional to create a plan that works for you, which may include small steps like eating a heart-healthy diet, staying active and maintaining a healthy weight.

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For those diagnosed with high blood pressure, maintaining a healthy weight by staying active (at least 150 minutes of moderate activity per week) and eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean protein and whole grains are important. Even losing 5% of your weight can help improve blood pressure.

It’s also important to reduce or avoid alcohol consumption and tobacco use. Consider stress-reducing activities, including meditation, breathing control or yoga. For many individuals, adhering to prescribed medications is essential to effectively control blood pressure and reduce the risk of serious health complications.

To learn more about blood pressure management and how to check it properly, visit heart.org/bp.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock

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SOURCE:

American Heart Association

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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