adult relationships
Getting married in your fifties? Here are a few things to consider!
Getting married in your fifties is becoming more and more common as people are choosing to wait until later in life to tie the knot.
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Getting married in your fifties is becoming more and more common as people are choosing to wait until later in life to tie the knot. While some may see this as an unusual choice, there are many benefits to getting married at this stage of life. Here are some things to consider if you’re thinking about getting married in your fifties:
- Experience: By the time you reach your fifties, you’ve likely had more life experiences and have a better understanding of who you are and what you want in a partner. This can make it easier to find someone who is a good match for you.
- Financial stability: By your fifties, you may be more financially stable than you were in your younger years. This can make it easier to plan for a wedding and a life together.
- Family: If you have children or grandchildren, getting married in your fifties can be a great way to bring your families together. It can also be an opportunity to start a new family if you haven’t had children yet.
- Health: It’s important to consider your health when getting married in your fifties. Make sure to talk to your doctor about any health concerns and make plans for the future.
- Logistics: Getting married in your fifties may require some additional logistics, such as blending households, merging finances, and dealing with any legal issues. Make sure to plan ahead and discuss these issues with your partner.
- Social expectations: While getting married in your fifties is becoming more common, there may still be some social expectations and pressures to consider. Make sure you’re getting married for the right reasons and not just because you feel like you should.
In conclusion, getting married in your fifties can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. By considering your experience, financial stability, family, health, logistics, and social expectations, you can make sure that you and your partner are ready for this next step in your lives.
https://q5i.09c.myftpupload.com/category/lifestyle/
https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/marriage-after-50/
https://www.liveabout.com/reasons-to-get-married-over-50-2969535
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Consumer Corner
How Valentine’s Day was transformed by the Industrial Revolution and ‘manufactured intimacy’
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Christopher Ferguson, Auburn University
When we think of Valentine’s Day, chubby Cupids, hearts and roses generally come to mind, not industrial processes like mass production and the division of labor. Yet the latter were essential to the holiday’s history.
As a historian researching material culture and emotions, I’m aware of the important role the exchange of manufactured greeting cards played in the 19th-century version of Valentine’s Day.
At the beginning of that century, Britons produced most of their valentines by hand. By the 1850s, however, manufactured cards had replaced those previously made by individuals at home. By the 1860s, more than 1 million cards were in circulation in London alone.
The British journalist and playwright Andrew Halliday was fascinated by these cards, especially one popular card that featured a lady and gentleman walking arm-in-arm up a pathway toward a church.
Halliday recalled watching in fascination as “the windows of small booksellers and stationers” filled with “highly-coloured” valentines, and contemplating “how and where” they “originated.” “Who draws the pictures?” he wondered. “Who writes the poetry?”
In 1864 he decided to find out.
Manufactured intimacy
Today Halliday is most often remembered for his writing on London beggars in a groundbreaking 1864 social survey, “London Labour and the London Poor.” However, throughout the 1860s he was a regular contributor to Charles Dickens’ popular journal “All the Year Round,” in which he entertained readers with essays addressing various facets of ordinary British daily existence, including family relations, travel, public services and popular entertainments.
In one essay for that journal – “Cupid’s Manufactory,” which was later reprinted in 1866 in the collection “Everyday Papers” – Halliday led his readers on a guided tour of one of London’s foremost card manufacturers.
Inside the premises of “Cupid and Co.,” they followed a “valentine step by step” from a “plain sheet of paper” to “that neat white box in which it is packed, with others of its kind, to be sent out to the trade.”
Touring ‘Cupid’s Manufactory’
“Cupid and Co.” was most likely the firm of Joseph Mansell, a lace-paper and stationary company that manufactured large numbers of valentines between the 1840s and 1860s – and also just happened to occupy the same address as “Mr. Cupid’s” in London’s Red Lion Square.
The processes Halliday described, however, were common to many British card manufacturers in the 1860s, and exemplified many industrial practices first introduced during the late 18th century, including the subdivision of tasks and the employment of women and child laborers.
Halliday moved through the rooms of “Cupid’s Manufactory,” describing the variety of processes by which various styles of cards were made for a range of different people and price points.
He noted how the card with the lady and gentleman on the path to the church began as a simple stamped card, in black and white – identical to one preserved today in the collections of the London Museum – priced at one penny.
A portion of these cards, however, then went on to a room where a group of young women were arranged along a bench, each with a different color of “liquid water-colour at her elbow.” Using stencils, one painted the “pale brown” pathway, then handed it to the woman next to her, who painted the “gentleman’s blue coat,” who then handed it to the next, who painted the “salmon-coloured church,” and so forth. It was much like a similar group of female workers depicted making valentines in the “Illustrated London News” in the 1870s.
These colored cards, Halliday noted, would be sold for “sixpence to half-a-crown.” A portion of these, however, were then sent on to another room, where another group of young women glued on feathers, lace-paper, bits of silk or velvet, or even gold leaf, creating even more ornate cards sometimes sold for 5 shillings and above.
All told, Halliday witnessed “about sixty hands” – mostly young women, but also “men and boys,” who worked 10 hours a day in every season of the year, making cards for Valentine’s Day.
Yet, it was on the top floor of the business that Halliday encountered the people who arguably fascinated him the most: the six artists who designed all the cards, and the poets who provided their text – most of whom actually worked offsite.
Here were the men responsible for manufacturing the actual sentiments the cards conveyed – and in the mid-19th century these encompassed a far wider range of emotions than the cards produced by Hallmark and others in the 21st century.
A spectrum of ‘manufactured emotions’
Many Victorians mailed cards not only to those with whom they were in love, but also to those they disliked or wished to mock or abuse. A whole subgenre of cards existed to belittle the members of certain trades, like tailors or draper’s assistants, or people who dressed out of fashion.
Cards were specifically designed for discouraging suitors and for poking fun of the old or the unattractive. While some of these cards likely were exchanged as jokes between friends, the consensus among scholars is that many were absolutely intended to be sent as cruel insults.
Furthermore, unlike in the present day, in the 19th century those who received a Valentine were expected to send one in return, which meant there were also cards to discourage future attentions, recommend patience, express thanks, proclaim mutual admiration, or affirm love’s effusions.
Halliday noted the poet employed by “Cupid’s” had recently finished the text for a mean-spirited comic valentine featuring a gentleman admiring himself in a mirror:
Looking at thyself within the glass,
You appear lost in admiration;
You deceive yourself, and think, alas!
You are a wonder of creation.
This same author, however, had earlier completed the opposite kind of text for the card Halliday had previously highlighted, featuring the “lady and gentleman churchward-bound”:
“The path before me gladly would I trace,
With one who’s dearest to my constant heart,
To yonder church, the holy sacred place,
Where I my vows of Love would fain impart;
And in sweet wedlock’s bonds unite with thee,
Oh, then, how blest my life would ever be!”
These were very different texts by the very same man. And Halliday assured his readers “Cupid’s laureate” had authored many others in every imaginable style and sentiment, all year long, for “twopence a line.”
Halliday showed how a stranger was manufacturing expressions of emotions for the use of other strangers who paid money for them. In fact, he assured his readers that in the lead up to Valentine’s Day “Cupid’s” was “turning out two hundred and fifty pounds’ worth of valentines a week,” and that his business was “yearly on the increase.”
Halliday found this dynamic – the process of mass producing cards for profit to help people express their authentic emotions – both fascinating and bizarre. It was a practice he thought seemed like it ought to be “beneath the dignity of the age.”
And yet it thrived among the earnest Victorians, and it thrives still. Indeed, it remains a core feature of the modern holiday of Valentine’s Day.
This year, like in so many others, I will stand at a display of greeting cards, with many other strangers, as we all try to find that one card designed by someone else, mass-produced for profit, that will convey our sincere personal feelings for our friends and loved ones.
Christopher Ferguson, Associate Professor of History, Auburn University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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adult relationships
‘For the very first time I really enjoyed sex!’ − how lesbian escort agencies became a form of self-care in Japan
The Lesbian Girls Club in Japan offers legal female-to-female sex services, addressing women’s unmet sexual desires while challenging traditional views on female sexuality and intimacy.
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Marta Fanasca, Università di Bologna
In Japanese society, prostitution is often framed as a necessary evil – a way to maintain social harmony by providing men with an outlet for their pent-up sexual desires.
While there are a number of issues with this view – such as the implication that men are inherently unable to control their sexual impulses – it also has a critical flaw: It frames prostitution as something that only men want or need.
In Japan, female sexuality is often seen through the narrow lens of heterosexual romance and motherhood.
“Rezu fūzoku” upends this view.
Rezu fūzoku, which roughly translates to “lesbian sexual entertainment,” refers to agencies where female sex workers provide sex to female clients. And in Japan, it’s entirely legal. I began investigating female-to-female commercial sex and escort services in 2023. After initially studying the phenomenon of female-to-male crossdressers offering nonsexual, romantic dates to female clients, I decided to expand the investigation to focus on clients seeking sex and romance. The names of the sex workers and clients I interviewed in my research have been changed in this article to protect their anonymity.
Tapping into a niche market
Unlike in many countries that historically criminalized homosexual acts, Japan only briefly outlawed them in the 1870s, during an era of rapid Western-inspired legal reforms.
After that period, the country did not reintroduce laws criminalizing homosexual acts, allowing same-sex relationships to exist largely without legal interference – even if they remained frowned upon in Japanese society.
Furthermore, homosexual prostitution has never been illegal. Japan did enact a strict anti-prostitution law in 1956 that bans the practice, which it exclusively defines as penetrative, paid sex between a man and a woman. As a result, any paid-for activity that falls outside of this definition – such as homosexual sex – is not considered illegal.
For my research, I interviewed a man named Obō, the founder of the Lesbian Girls Club, an agency with branches in Osaka and Tokyo providing female sex workers for female clients.
Obō started out his career as a web developer but soon became burned out and disillusioned.
“I wanted to start my own business, and since I was building websites for several adult entertainment shops, I decided to try something similar. It quickly became clear that while the market was flooded with services for men, there were almost none for women.”
So Obō opened Lesbian Girls Club in 2007, an agency arranging meetups between sex workers and female clients in hotels, rather than at a brothel. Since then, it’s become an institution in Japan, with some of his original sex workers still working for Obō.
A diverse clientele
Initially a niche market, rezu fūzoku gained wider attention when the manga artist Nagata Kabi used Obō’s agency and later chronicled her experience in her work “My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness.”
The award-winning manga, which was also released in the U.S. and Europe, introduced the service to many Japanese women who hadn’t previously known about it.
Despite the term “rezu” – lesbian – in the name, Obō’s agency welcomes women of all sexual orientations.
“Some of our clients are lesbians,” he told me. “But many are straight, also married. Most are between 26 and 35 years old, though we also have clients in their 60s and 70s.”
Many Japanese women still find it difficult to explore their sexuality and express their sexual desires, even with their partners. This often leads to unsatisfactory sexual experiences, which can pave the way for sexless relationships– something which is increasingly commonplace in Japan and a situation that many users of rezu fūzoku services shared with me.
As Yuriko, a 35-year-old heterosexual client of rezu fūzoku, explained, “For the very first time I really enjoyed sex! Rezu fūzoku gave me the chance to try new things and to feel good.”
Sex is wellness
In my interviews, the term “iyashi” often popped up.
It means “healing” and refers to activities or services that provide relief from daily stress and negative feelings. Just as yoga classes or massages are seen as forms of iyashi, sex – especially commercial sex – is also branded this way in Japan.
“Men do not understand women and their bodies,” Yuriko said. “But sexuality is a fundamental part of life, and ignoring it only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. Sex is iyashi.”
The use of this word shows how prostitution in Japan is not always viewed as something to be ashamed of but can also be seen as a form of self-care.
For instance, the practice of dispatching a sex worker to a hotel where she meets the client is called in Japanese “deriheru,” or delivery health, stressing the connection with the iyashi realm. Also, a 90-minute session with a professional sex worker for women is often called “wellness course,” which ties sex to physical and psychological well-being.
Sex workers themselves also emphasize the connection between their occupation and iyashi practices, often referring to themselves as “therapists” or “cast” and downplaying the sexual aspects of their work, instead highlighting the wellness-related ones. Aware of the positive impact their services have on women, many of them expressed pride in their work during our interviews.
“It’s rewarding,” Moe, who has been in the industry for six years, told me. “When a customer tells me she was really struggling but now feels she can try a little harder because we met, I feel glad I chose this job.”
Her colleague, Makiko, agreed. “I am proud of this job. It’s very important to me, and I believe it’s quite needed in society.”
Despite the widespread stigma against sex workers in Japanese society, the legal status of rezu fūzoku services offers employees greater protection and ensures clear working conditions.
And as a marker of how the industry has grown, Tokyo alone is currently home to over 10 rezu fūzoku agencies, according to my research.
‘A refuge for the heart’
Yet, despite the existence of services aimed at women’s sexual well-being, gender inequality remains rampant in Japan.
Women still face significant social and economic barriers. According to the World Economic Forum’s 2024 Global Gender Gap Report, Japan ranks 118th out of 146 countries for gender equality and holds the lowest position among G7 nations.
By catering to women’s sexual desires outside of the traditional heterosexual framework, rezu fūzoku challenges conventional narratives about women’s sexuality. In a country that has been experiencing falling marriage and birth rates, listening to women and understanding their needs has become increasingly important.
This legal form of sex work clearly fills a need, offering women a safe place to try new things and entrust their sexual pleasure to an expert – who happens to be another woman. One thing that stood out in my research was how popular the service was among women in heterosexual relationships who seemed eager to explore desires that may be difficult to share with a partner.
But what female clients seek often goes beyond sex itself. Many women simply want intimacy – being hugged, cuddled and cared for in a way that is missing not only in the lives of single women but also in those of women in relationships.
“I use this service for comfort and healing,” said Sachi, a 42-year-old woman who’s married to a man. “It is a kind of refuge for the heart offering emotional richness.”
Marta Fanasca, Marie Curie Global Fellow, Università di Bologna
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Lifestyle
Wyzr: The Leading Activity and Health & Wellness-Based Friendship App Leads the Shift Away from High-Pressure Dating Apps
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LOS ANGELES /PRNewswire/ — Wyzr, the leading activity and health & wellness-based friendship app for singles and couples, celebrates a highly successful beta-testing phase with over 250,000 friendship connections. Wyzr officially launches this week in celebration of National New Friends Day on October 19.
health & wellness
Wyzr also announces its inclusion in the AgeTech Collaborative™ from AARP accelerator program, where it will receive the tools to help bring Wyzr to people 50+.
“We’re thrilled to be a part of the AgeTech Collaborative from AARP accelerator,” said Joy Teitel, co-founder of Wyzr. “We’ve created a smarter, safer app where singles and couples can find friends and activity partners to facilitate social connection, which improves physical and mental health. Wyzr’s proprietary friendship matching algorithm optimizes connections by intelligently pairing people based on shared interests, and health & wellness goals, among other factors.”
Carolyn Kelly, co-founder, added, “People are exhausted from the pressure and the constant push for romance. Wyzr is different. We are focused on building real friendships for adults without the stress. Our activity-based approach makes connecting easy and natural, and our market is significantly larger than dating apps. After the isolation of the pandemic and return to on-site work, people are craving genuine, pressure-free connection, and Wyzr offers exactly that.”
Wyzr: New Features for Real Connections
Wyzr offers several exciting features that set it apart from dating and other social apps, focusing on easy, engaging ways to meet new people for meaningful friendships, shared health & wellness goals, and interests:
- Friend Blast: With just one tap, users can instantly invite their friends to social gatherings, one-on-one meet-ups, or group events, making spontaneous plans for golf, pickleball, concerts, day trips or shopping, more accessible than ever. This feature enhances community engagement and encourages users to connect through shared experiences.
- Health & Wellness Goals: Wyzr allows users to connect based on shared health and wellness interests, creating opportunities for friends to support each other on their personal journeys.
- Carpool: The Carpool feature, known as Wyzr Ride, helps users share rides to work, school, events and activities, promoting convenience, eco-consciousness and connections in their local communities.
- ID Verification: Wyzr prioritizes safety, offering optional ID verification for users who prefer added security when connecting with others.
Involving Community Groups & Employers
Wyzr invites community groups, organizations and employers across the U.S. and Canada to become a part of this movement to promote connection, longevity and healthy living. Eligible groups and organizations with at least 50 Wyzr sign-ups in 2024, can receive free event postings on the Wyzr App.
About Wyzr
Wyzr is a free, activity-based friendship app focused on helping singles and couples create meaningful connections. Available now on the Apple App Store and Google Play, Wyzr is on a mission to empower users to build strong social networks.
SOURCE Wyzr Group, LLC
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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