Alvin Thomas, University of Wisconsin-Madison and Quinn Kinzer, University of Wisconsin-Madison

A few weeks before Justin Bieber and his wife, Hailey, announced in May 2024 that they were expecting, the pop icon posted a selfie where he appears tearful and distraught.

While media attention quickly pivoted to the pregnancy, there was little attention paid to the significance of a male celebrity and expectant father publicly sharing his vulnerability.

Yet Bieber’s social media post is notable for making his internal struggle visible.

Emotional pain is linked to serious health issues. But the public’s response to male expressions of emotion and vulnerability is often minimizing, if not dismissive. In response to Bieber’s tearful post, for example, Hailey described him as a “pretty crier.”

A year ago, the Canadian rapper Dax released the song “To Be a Man.” He said at the time: “This is a song I poured my heart into. I’m praying this reaches everyone who needs it.”

Today, the song’s message remains timely. It includes the lyrics:

Yeah, I know this life can really beat you down, uh
You wanna scream but you won’t make a sound, uh
Got so much weight that you’ve been holdin’
But won’t show any emotion, as a man, that goes unspoken

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As researchers who study fatherhood and the roles that men play in their families, we recognize the loneliness and pain in these lyrics. We have heard fathers describe the toll of attempting to keep a lid on their feelings.

In a recent study we conducted on 75 new and expectant Black fathers, they spoke of the need to address individual and collective trauma. This, they said, would ultimately help support their families. But they said resources to help men with their mental health are often unavailable or very limited. They said they often feel invisible to health providers.

“Being a father and a man,” one participant said, “you have to keep the peace and be strong on the outside. But on the inside, you know, you’re falling apart.”

Dax’s lyrics and our research reflect an enduring social health challenge – the deafening silence that typically surrounds men’s mental health.

The toll of isolation on men

In May 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory highlighting what he described as an epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the country. Our research confirms this scourge.

Since men’s social support networks – colleagues, family, close childhood friends – are often less robust than women’s, the epidemic disproportionately impacts men. The resulting solitude has very real health consequences.

In Murthy’s report, loneliness is associated with negative health outcomes, including a “29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.”

While Murthy’s report focuses on both men and women, research shows that men are less likely than women to seek mental health services. Additionally, men hold more negative attitudes toward seeking help, and they prematurely terminate treatment more often than women.

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With these consequences in mind, a caring society may ask: Why are men carrying the brunt of this health risk, and what can be done about it?

Redefining men’s value beyond breadwinning

Many factors can contribute to feelings of isolation and disconnection among men.

In “To Be A Man,” Dax points toward one prominent factor:

As a man, we gotta pave our way
Our only function is to work and slave
There’s no respect for you if you ain’t paid
You’re disregarded as a human and you can’t complain

Traditional definitions of masculinity emphasize the importance of men’s role as breadwinners.

An uncertain economy and increasingly expensive housing and food prices make the ability to financially provide for a family elusive for many men. These factors also undermine men’s sense of self and contribute to loneliness and feelings of isolation.

As partners and fathers, men are still often perceived as deficient if they can’t provide economically. And societal norms stress that they are not valued for their capacity as caregivers, even if they are more involved in raising their children than ever before.

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This is out of touch with reality.

Men play an important role as caregivers in their children’s lives, according to our research, and exert a powerful influence on children’s health and well-being. Men also find meaning in their roles as fathers.

As Dax says:

As a man, our son is our horizon

The cost of suppressed vulnerability

Beyond pressures to provide, men also have to overcome enduring stereotypes that suggest they should be stoic and keep their fears and sadness to themselves.

Here, too, gender norms are in need of an update. Boys and men need to feel comfortable presenting their true, authentic selves to the world. When they suppress their vulnerability, it creates a barrier to seeking help. It also perpetuates stigma and the epidemic of loneliness.

There is a complex interplay between society’s assumptions and beliefs about men and fatherhood.

Men, consequently, are less likely than women to seek mental health services. Health providers, as a result, are more likely to underdiagnose and misdiagnose men. Additionally, when health resources are made available, they are often not tailored to men’s needs.

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Societal expectations can create unbearable pressure for men. And the most marginalized groups, like low-income Black fathers, bear a disproportionate burden, research shows. This became more evident during the COVID-19 pandemic, when Black fathers working in high-risk and essential jobs prioritized supporting their children and families over their own risk of infection and mental health.

As men continue to redefine their roles within families and communities, it’s important for society to create a space that acknowledges and embraces their vulnerabilities and full humanity in all social roles.

Men need outlets for their pain. They would benefit from relationships – with partners, family and friends – that support and nurture them in times of joy and through the emotional challenges. Their loneliness will continue to be disproportionate without the necessary connection to services.

Men can consider engaging in low-stakes discussion groups in their communities, with online groups and in their churches. They may also seek out therapists in person or online for introductory sessions to test out the therapeutic interaction before establishing a more consistent pattern of therapy services.

In “To Be a Man,” Dax sings:

No wonder most men are so depressed
All the things that they can’t express
It’s the circle of life, as a man, you provide
They don’t know what you’re worth ‘til the day that you die

As the Biebers adjust to life as parents, Justin may find people he can talk to about his experiences and emotions, people who see and value him fully. And we hope the same for every man and father, living their life out of the spotlight and doing the best they can for themselves and for their family.

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Alvin Thomas, Associate Professor, Phyllis Northway Faculty Fellow, University of Wisconsin-Madison and Quinn Kinzer, Graduate student and PhD Candidate, Department of Consumer Science, University of Wisconsin-Madison

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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(Family Features) It doesn’t take much for cold and flu symptoms to take over. Even a mild case of the sniffles can make it difficult to navigate the demands of everyday life. It’s virtually impossible to avoid germs altogether, but you can make sure you’re ready to fight off an infection, whether it’s a minor cold or a full-blown case of the flu.

Cold and Flu Tips

“I always share a few easy and simple methods with my patients when cold and flu season comes back around to keep them in the best shape,” said Dr. Tim Tiutan, board-certified internal medicine physician. “Not only does getting ahead offer protection, but knowing what to do when symptoms start to come on, and what to have in your medicine cabinet, can help ease the burden of an oncoming illness.”

Preparation and prevention play important roles before a bug hits, but it’s also valuable to know how to effectively treat an illness and keep your loved ones from getting sick.

Prevent
Short of stashing yourself away in a bubble, there aren’t many failsafe ways to fully avoid germs. However, some basic hygiene and preventive care can go a long way toward minimizing your risk. Regularly washing your hands can help get rid of germs before you accidentally introduce them to your eyes, mouth or nose. Be especially diligent after spending time in crowded places.

Maintaining an overall healthy lifestyle also helps ensure you’re in optimal condition if you do get sick. That means eating a nutritious, well-rounded diet and keeping up with your exercise routine. Also be sure to talk to your doctor or pharmacist about getting a flu shot; while it may not fully prevent you from getting sick, in most cases it helps your body fight back and keeps your symptoms manageable.

Prepare
Knowing you can’t completely eliminate your exposure to germs, it’s a good idea to ensure you have everything you need to fight a cold or flu on hand. At least once a year, give your medicine cabinet a thorough cleaning. Discard any expired medications and replace products that have run low, especially those designed to help fight symptoms like pain relievers, fever reducers, decongestants, antihistamines and cough syrups.

It’s also a good time to restock items like tissues, cough drops, hand sanitizer and antibacterial soap. Medical supplies like thermometers and humidifiers also come in handy when you’re under the weather; check to be sure yours are in good working order and consider adding any supplies you don’t already have, such as a blood pressure cuff or home oximeter.

Treat
Once you’re sick, sleep is one of the best remedies. Your body can redirect energy toward healing when you’re sleeping, which helps boost your immune system, so give yourself permission to rest when you’re feeling down.

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In addition to getting enough rest, it’s important to treat your symptoms, not just mask them. Because symptoms like fever, runny nose, chest congestion, cough and more can indicate a more serious problem, finding the root cause of the symptoms can be a more effective treatment strategy.

For example, some common remedies for chest congestion only mask the symptoms. Many doctors recommend an option like Mucinex 12-Hour because it treats the cause of chest congestion by thinning and loosening excess mucus. One dose lasts up to 12 hours, helping you clear mucus and relieve chest congestion.

Contain
Getting rest and managing your symptoms are easier when you stay at home, but it’s also the best way to prevent spreading germs to others. It’s not always practical, but if you can, limit yourself to one area of the house, away from family members. Cough into your elbow or a tissue, never your hands. Use antibacterial hand sanitizer and wipe down surfaces to minimize others’ contact with your germs.

Be especially wary of spending time with anyone who has a compromised immune system while you’re contagious, including those with pre-existing conditions, older adults and pregnant women. Take advantage of delivery or curbside services for essentials like groceries and talk with your employer about working remotely or using sick time until you’re feeling better.

Find more advice to help fight this cold and flu season at Mucinex.com. https://www.youtube.com/embed/zUpFn6VhRTM?feature=share/?utm_source=familyfeatures&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=#17187-Mucinex

When to Call for Help if You’re Feeling Lousy

If you’re experiencing cold symptoms, you might wonder when it’s appropriate to see a doctor for further evaluation. While most colds resolve on their own within a week or two, there are certain instances when seeking medical attention is advisable.

High Fever: If your fever persists for more than three days or reaches 102 F or higher, consult a health care provider.

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Persistent or Severe Headaches: If you experience persistent or severe headaches that are not alleviated by over-the-counter medication, it’s advisable to consult a health care provider, as this could indicate a more serious underlying issue.

Persistent Symptoms: If your symptoms worsen or don’t improve after a week, seek medical advice.

Unusual Symptoms: If you experience uncommon or concerning symptoms during a cold, such as extreme fatigue, confusion, dehydration or a high fever that doesn’t respond to treatment, consult your doctor promptly for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.

Trouble Breathing: Difficulty breathing, chest pain or wheezing can indicate a more severe respiratory condition and warrant medical attention.

High-Risk Individuals: For individuals at high risk of complications from colds, such as pregnant women, the elderly or individuals with conditions like diabetes or heart disease, it’s important to seek advice early to prevent any potential complications.

Remember, your health care provider can offer guidance tailored to your specific situation, helping you manage your cold effectively and ensure optimal recovery.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock

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SOURCE:
Mucinex

At our core, we at STM Daily News, strive to keep you informed and inspired with the freshest content on all things food and beverage. From mouthwatering recipes to intriguing articles, we’re here to satisfy your appetite for culinary knowledge.

Visit our Food & Drink section to get the latest on Foodie News and recipes, offering a delightful blend of culinary inspiration and gastronomic trends to elevate your dining experience.

Mordechai Gordon, Quinnipiac University

As the Jewish High Holidays approach, which begin with Rosh Hashanah and continue with Yom Kippur, the theme of forgiveness keeps coming to my mind.

The 10 days from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur are referred to in the Jewish tradition as the days of repentance, or the days of awe. During this period, Jews who observe the holidays implore God to respond to their sins with mercy, while also requesting forgiveness from anyone those individuals may have wronged in the past year.

Most conversations about forgiveness focus on the meaning and value of forgiving others. Douglas Stewart, a philosopher of education who has researched forgiveness extensively, writes that to forgive implies a willingness to let go of our negative emotions or hard feelings and to adopt in their place a more generous and compassionate attitude toward our wrongdoers.

Other philosophers have pointed out that the benefits of forgiveness include overcoming resentment, restoring relationships and setting a wrong to rest in the past – without vengeance. As such, to forgive should be considered morally valuable and admirable.

But what about self-forgiveness? Is it morally valuable, or just something we do to make ourselves feel better? And what is self-forgiveness, anyway?

As a philosopher of education, some of my own research has wrestled with these questions.

Defining self-forgiveness

Self-forgiveness means managing to work through painful feelings such as guilt, shame and deep disappointment with ourselves. It entails transforming negative attitudes, such as contempt, anger and shame, into more positive emotions such as respect and humility.

It is important to recognize, however, that a wrongdoer cannot simply reject shame: They must confront it. Moral philosophers such as Byron Williston assert that people who have deeply wronged others, such as betraying a loved one, need to experience shame and take responsibility for their actions – such as asking for forgiveness. Otherwise, an attempt at self-forgiveness is not likely to be meaningful.

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Finally, we need to keep in mind that self-forgiveness does not imply someone has extinguished all the negative feelings directed at themselves or is done with self-reproach. This would amount to an impossible goal.

Rather, as philosopher Robin Dillon pointed out, self-forgiveness suggests that someone is no longer being consumed or overwhelmed by those negative feelings. In short, it is possible to forgive ourselves and still view ourselves with a demanding and critical eye.

Moral development

Getting there, though, is not easy. Self-forgiveness entails working through a rigorous process of coming to terms with wrongdoing.

According to ethicist Margaret Holmgren, that process includes at least four steps: acknowledging that what we did was wrong; coming to terms with why it was wrong; allowing ourselves to experience grief and self-resentment at having injured another person; and, finally, making a genuine effort to correct the attitudes that led to the harmful act and making amends to the victim.

In other words, confronting negative emotions, attitudes and patterns is essential prior to attempting to restore relationships with others. Only once we are able to relax the preoccupation with guilt and shame, and to genuinely forgive ourselves, can we meaningfully contribute to relationships as liberated and equal partners – especially in ongoing ones, such as with family and friends.

Of course, there are cases in which the offense is so vast, such as genocide, that no individual can make full restitution or provide an adequate apology for the wrong.

There are other times when an apology is impossible. Perhaps victims are dead; perhaps a direct apology would retraumatize them or do more harm than good.

In those cases, I would argue, an offender can still attempt to work toward self-forgiveness – acknowledging not only the victim’s intrinsic worth but their own, regardless of their ability to make amends. This in itself is moral growth: appreciating that neither is a mere object that can be manipulated or abused.

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The take-home point, I would argue, is that going through the process of self-forgiveness is morally beneficial. It can not only liberate people who tend to reproach themselves incessantly, but it can enhance their ability to relate ethically toward others – to acknowledge wrongdoing, while simultaneously affirming their own value.

Most people have experienced at least one situation in which they inflicted pain on someone else and recognized that their words or actions caused harm. In such situations, we also often feel ashamed of ourselves and attempt to apologize or make amends.

Yet I hope that during this High Holiday season we keep in mind that self-forgiveness should also be considered essential. If moral development means a process in which our self-awareness and character mature, then acknowledging wrongdoing and experiencing shame, followed by self-forgiveness, are indispensable for that process.

Mordechai Gordon, Professor of Education, Quinnipiac University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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