When grief involves trauma − a social worker explains how to support survivors of the recent floods and other devastating losses
The July 4, 2025, floods in Kerr County, Texas, swept away children and entire families, leaving horror in their wake. Days later, flash floods struck Ruidoso, New Mexico, killing three people, including two young children. These are not just devastating losses. When death is sudden, violent, or when a body is never recovered, grief gets tangled up with trauma. In these situations, people don’t only grieve the death. They struggle with the terror of how it happened, the unanswered questions and the shock etched into their bodies. I’m a social work professor, grief researcher and the founder of The Young Widowhood Project, a research initiative aimed at expanding scholarship and public understanding of premature spousal loss. I was widowed when I was 36. In July 2020, my husband, Brent, went missing after testing a small, flat-bottomed fishing boat called a Jon boat. His body was recovered two days later, but I never saw his remains. Both my personal loss and professional work have shown me how trauma changes the grieving process and what kind of support actually helps. To understand how trauma can complicate grief, it’s important to first understand how people typically respond to loss.
Grief isn’t a set of stages
Many people still think of grief through the lens of psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’ five stages of grief, popularized in the early 1970s: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But in fact, this model was originally designed for people facing their own deaths, not for mourners. In the absence of accessible grief research in the 1960s, it became a leading framework for understanding the grieving process – even though it wasn’t meant for that. Despite this misapplication, the stages model has shaped cultural expectations: namely, that grief ends once people reach the “acceptance” stage. But research doesn’t support this idea. Trying to force grief into this model can cause real harm, leaving mourners feeling they’re grieving “wrong.” In reality, mourning is often lifelong. Most people go through an acute period of overwhelming pain right after the loss. This is usually followed by integrated grief, where the pain softens but the loss is still part of everyday life, returning in waves. Although grief is unique to each person and relationship, researchers have found that mourners often strive to a) make sense of the death; b) adjust to a world without their loved one; c) form an ongoing connection with their deceased loved one in new ways; and d) figure out who they are without their loved one. It’s difficult and at times disorienting work, but most people find ways to carry their grief and keep living.Julia Mora embraces her granddaughter, Isla Meyer, during a vigil for Texas flood victims on July 11, 2025.AP Photo/Gerald Herbert
When grief and trauma collide
However, some losses carry an extra layer of pain, confusion and trauma. Sudden, unexpected, accidental, violent or deeply tragic deaths – like those experienced during the recent floods – can lead to what researchers call traumatic bereavement: grief that is disrupted by the traumatic nature of the death. People experiencing traumatic bereavement often endure a longer and more intense acute grief period. They may be haunted by disturbing images, nightmares or relentless thoughts about how their loved one died or suffered. Many wrestle with dread, spiritual disorientation and a shattered sense of safety in the world. Some of these deaths are also considered “ambiguous” – unclear or unconfirmed loss – such as when a body is never recovered or is too damaged to view. Without physical confirmation, mourners often feel stuck in disbelief and helplessness. This was true in my case. Not seeing my husband’s body left a part of me suspended between knowing and not knowing. I knew he had died but couldn’t fully believe it, no matter how much I lived with the reality of his absence. For a long time, I caught myself repeating these words every morning: “Brent is dead. Brent is dead.” In many cases, these reactions aren’t short term. Many people affected by traumatic loss remain overwhelmed and sometimes physically and emotionally impaired for years. Symptoms may taper over time, but they rarely disappear entirely.
Supporting mourners
Traumatic bereavement can feel unbearable. Many mourners struggle with intense, long-lasting reactions that can leave them feeling helpless, altered or even unrecognizable to themselves. They may appear withdrawn, forgetful or emotionally drained because their systems are overwhelmed. Coping can look messy or self-destructive, but these are often survival strategies, not conscious choices. I’ve also seen how those same struggles become more survivable when mourners don’t have to carry them alone. If you’re supporting someone through traumatic loss, here are three ways to help.
Make space for the horror. Listen without flinching. Acknowledge the full weight of what happened and how terrifying and unjust the loss was. This means saying things like, “This should never have happened,” or “What you went through is beyond words.” It means staying present when the mourner speaks about what haunts them. Let them know they don’t have to carry this alone. You may feel the urge to say something hopeful such as, “At least the body was recovered,” but there is no silver lining in these cases. Instead, say: “There’s nothing I can say to fix this, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Help them find others who can understand. Trauma can be isolating. Mourners often feel uniquely overwhelmed or confused. Support groups, peer companions and therapists trained in treating grief and trauma can offer the kind of recognition and validation that even the most devoted friend may not be able to provide.
Take care of yourself, too. Being present for someone in deep grief takes energy, especially if you were personally affected by the loss. Stay connected to replenishing people, practices and routines. If you don’t, you may begin to experience trauma, too. Taking care of yourself will help you remain grounded so that you can show up.
I believe supporting someone through traumatic bereavement is one of the most meaningful things you can do. You don’t need perfect words or a plan. What sustains them won’t be advice or solutions, but your simple, powerful act of staying. Liza Barros-Lane, Assistant Professor of Social Work, University of Houston-Downtown This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Ollie’s Bargain Outlet Turns Spare Change Into Holiday Hope with Feeding America Partnership
Ollie’s Bargain Outlet launches its sixth annual hOLLIEday Caring campaign with Feeding America, letting shoppers round up purchases to fight hunger. The initiative has raised over $4 million for local food banks since 2019.
Ollie’s Bargain Outlet Turns Spare Change Into Holiday Hope with Feeding America Partnership
When you’re hunting for bargains this holiday season, your spare change could do more than jingle in your pocket—it could put food on a neighbor’s table. Ollie’s Bargain Outlet is launching its sixth annual hOLLIEday Caring campaign, partnering with Feeding America® to give shoppers an easy way to fight hunger right at the register. From December 7th through December 24th, customers can round up their purchases to support local food banks in communities where Ollie’s stores operate. It’s a small gesture that adds up fast—over the past five years, these round-ups have generated more than $4 million for families facing food insecurity.
Why This Campaign Matters More Than Ever
Food insecurity isn’t just a holiday problem—it’s a year-round crisis that intensifies when the calendar turns to November and December. Rising costs for food, housing, and healthcare have pushed millions of Americans into impossible choices: pay the electric bill or buy groceries? Fill a prescription or feed the kids? The Feeding America network has responded to this growing need by rescuing more than 4 billion pounds of wholesome food over the past year. But as demand increases, so does the pressure on food banks to keep shelves stocked and families fed. “The holidays can be a particularly challenging period for those in need and the food banks that support them,” the campaign announcement notes. “This is a time when families are forced to choose between food and other necessity items, food banks face rising demand, and families nationwide are turning to the Feeding America network of partner food banks to help make ends meet.”
How Round-Ups Create Real Impact
The beauty of Ollie’s hOLLIEday Caring campaign lies in its simplicity. There’s no complicated donation process, no separate transaction, no guilt-inducing ask at the checkout. Just a quick question: would you like to round up your purchase? That extra 37 cents or 82 cents might not seem like much in the moment, but multiply it across hundreds of thousands of transactions at 613 stores in 34 states, and suddenly you’re talking about meaningful resources for local food banks. “Our hOLLIEday Caring campaign encourages shoppers to turn spare change into meaningful support that puts food on the table for neighbors and creates the kind of real change and hope families need right now,” said Tom Kuypers, Senior Vice President of Marketing at Ollie’s.
A Partnership Built on Community Values
What makes this initiative particularly effective is that donations stay local. The funds raised support Feeding America’s network of partner food banks in the communities where Ollie’s operates, ensuring that your round-up in Pennsylvania helps Pennsylvania families, and your contribution in Arizona supports Arizona neighbors. This localized approach reflects Ollie’s broader commitment to the communities it serves. “At Ollie’s, caring for our associates, customers, and the communities in which they live in is a core value,” Kuypers emphasized. Elizabeth Pettengill, Interim Vice President of Corporate Partners at Feeding America, echoed that sentiment: “We are grateful for partners like Ollie’s who help make our work possible. Every round up at the register supports local food banks in communities across the country, helping to ensure families can bring meals home during the holidays and beyond.”
Beyond the Holidays
While the hOLLIEday Caring campaign runs through Christmas Eve, the need for food assistance doesn’t end when the decorations come down. Food insecurity is a persistent challenge that requires sustained support throughout the year. That’s why partnerships like this one matter—they create awareness, build habits of giving, and demonstrate how easily everyday shoppers can contribute to solutions. When charitable giving is integrated into routine activities like grocery shopping or bargain hunting, it becomes accessible to everyone, not just those with disposable income to spare.
How to Participate
If you’re shopping at Ollie’s between December 7th and December 24th, simply say yes when the cashier asks if you’d like to round up your purchase. That’s it. Your spare change will be directed to Feeding America’s network of local food banks, helping families in your community access the food they need. And if Ollie’s isn’t part of your regular shopping routine, consider how you might support local food banks in other ways—whether through direct donations, volunteering, or participating in similar round-up campaigns at other retailers. The holidays remind us that community isn’t just about celebration—it’s about showing up for each other, especially when times are tough. Sometimes that looks like a grand gesture. Sometimes it’s as simple as rounding up to the nearest dollar.
About Ollie’s Bargain Outlet
Ollie’s is a leading off-price retailer specializing in brand name closeout merchandise and excess inventory. With 613 stores across 34 states, the company’s mission is to sell “Good Stuff Cheap®” at prices up to 70% below traditional retailers. Learn more at ollies.com. For more stories about people making a difference in the community, whether it’s locally or globally, visit our Stories of Change section.Sources:
Looking for more ways to support families facing food insecurity? Visit your local food bank’s website to learn about donation opportunities, volunteer shifts, and community programs.
Mr. Drain Plumbing’s “Flush Away Hunger” Drive Shows How Small Acts Create Big Impact
Mr. Drain Plumbing’s inaugural “Flush Away Hunger” food drive collected donations for the Orangevale-Fair Oaks Food Bank, proving local businesses can mobilize communities to fight food insecurity through simple, sustainable charitable initiatives.
Mr. Drain Plumbing’s “Flush Away Hunger” Drive Shows How Small Acts Create Big Impact
When a Sacramento plumbing company decided to tackle more than just clogged drains this November, they proved that community support doesn’t require grand gestures—just genuine commitment and a willingness to show up. Mr. Drain Plumbing recently wrapped up its inaugural “Flush Away Hunger” canned food drive, a three-week initiative that brought customers and employees together to support local families facing food insecurity during the Thanksgiving season. Running from November 1st through 20th, the friendly competition collected shelf-stable items for the Orangevale–Fair Oaks Food Bank, turning everyday plumbing appointments into opportunities for meaningful community impact.
A Competition That Everyone Wins
The drive’s format was simple but effective: customers and team members competed to see who could donate the most non-perishable items. To sweeten the deal, Mr. Drain offered customers who donated four or more items a 10% discount on their next plumbing service—a small thank-you that encouraged participation while keeping the focus where it belonged: on helping neighbors in need. “This time of year can be especially difficult for many families, and we’re grateful to everyone who joined us in giving what they could,” said Patrick Fee, Co-Founder of Mr. Drain. “Our goal wasn’t to pat ourselves on the back, but simply to make a difference in our community. It all starts with small acts, and we’re honored to be part of that effort.”
While Thanksgiving and the winter holidays often inspire charitable giving, food insecurity doesn’t take a vacation. The Orangevale–Fair Oaks Food Bank serves local households throughout the year, providing not just food but resources and hope to families navigating difficult circumstances. Mr. Drain’s initiative highlights an important truth: businesses have the power to mobilize their communities in ways that extend far beyond their core services. By integrating charitable giving into their everyday operations, they created a model that’s both sustainable and scalable—one that other local businesses could easily adapt.
Small Acts, Lasting Impact
What makes the “Flush Away Hunger” drive particularly noteworthy isn’t just the donations collected, but the approach behind it. Rather than positioning themselves as saviors, Mr. Drain framed the initiative as a community effort—one where customers, employees, and the company itself all played a role. This kind of grassroots engagement matters. It reminds us that supporting our neighbors doesn’t require wealth or influence—just awareness, empathy, and action. Whether it’s donating canned goods during a plumbing appointment or volunteering at a local food bank, every contribution adds up.
Continuing the Momentum
As the holiday season continues, Mr. Drain is encouraging Sacramento-area residents to keep supporting the Orangevale–Fair Oaks Food Bank and other local nonprofits. The need doesn’t disappear when the decorations come down, and sustained community support is what allows these organizations to fulfill their missions year-round. For businesses looking to make a difference, Mr. Drain’s approach offers a blueprint: start where you are, use what you have, and invite your community to join you. The results might surprise you.
About Mr. Drain Plumbing
Mr. Drain Plumbing provides residential and commercial plumbing services throughout the Sacramento area, specializing in water heater repair, hydro-jetting, trenchless pipe replacement, and more. Their fully insured team combines advanced technology with a commitment to customer satisfaction and community engagement. To learn more about Mr. Drain Plumbing, visit mrdrainplumbers.com. For current seasonal specials and coupons, check out their coupons page.Looking for ways to support your local community this holiday season? Consider donating to the Orangevale–Fair Oaks Food Bank or reaching out to nonprofits in your area to see how you can help.
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In September 2024, Miami Dolphins star Tyreek Hill found himself at the center of a controversy that spread across social media, sparked national debate, and triggered an internal investigation inside the Miami-Dade Police Department (MDPD). More than a year later, many fans still wonder what actually happened that day — and whether Hill ever moved forward with legal action. Here’s a clear breakdown of the incident and the current status of the case.
The Traffic Stop That Sparked Outrage
On the morning of September 8, 2024 — just hours before the Dolphins’ season opener — Hill was pulled over near Hard Rock Stadium for alleged careless driving and a seat-belt violation. What followed was a violent escalation that shocked fans and critics alike.
Body-cam and bystander video footage released shortly after the incident showed officers pulling Hill from his vehicle, forcing him to the ground, placing a knee on his back, and handcuffing him. Hill later said he complied with commands and didn’t understand why the encounter became so aggressive.
The videos went viral almost instantly, raising widespread concerns about excessive force, bias in traffic stops, and how police interact with high-profile Black athletes.
A Police Officer With a History of Complaints
The MDPD later identified the officer who forcibly removed Hill from the vehicle as Danny Torres — a 27-year veteran of the department. Records revealed Torres had a long disciplinary history, including multiple suspensions for issues such as improper procedures, force violations, discourtesy, and body-camera failures.
Following public backlash, MDPD placed Torres on administrative duty pending an internal-affairs investigation. As of the latest updates, the department has not released final findings or announced disciplinary action beyond that initial administrative reassignment.
Traffic Citations Dismissed — But Not Because Hill Was Innocent or Guilty
In November 2024, Hill’s traffic tickets were officially dismissed — not because the court ruled in Hill’s favor, but because the officers who issued the citations didn’t show up in court. Without the officers present to testify, the judge dropped the case due to “lack of prosecution.”
The dismissal frustrated Hill’s legal team, who argued it showed a lack of accountability within the department. The MDPD later stated that an officer’s absence from court “does not indicate the citation lacked merit.”
Did Tyreek Hill Sue the Miami-Dade Police Department?
Short answer: No — at least not yet, and not publicly.
Hill’s legal team has repeatedly said they were exploring “every legal remedy,” including a potential civil-rights lawsuit (often filed federally under Section 1983). But after extensive research through public court records and news archives, there is no evidence that Hill has filed a federal or state civil lawsuit against MDPD or any of its officers.
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If a lawsuit had been filed, it likely would have generated major media coverage — especially given Hill’s profile and the viral nature of the incident. Instead, all reporting continues to describe Hill’s legal posture as “considering,” “evaluating,” or “preparing,” not filing.
Why the Case Remains Unresolved
Several factors may explain why the legal process remains in limbo:
Internal affairs reviews take time — and MDPD has not publicly concluded its investigation. Hill’s legal team may be waiting for the department’s findings before proceeding. Negotiations or private discussions between attorneys and the county may be occurring behind the scenes. A lawsuit could still be filed at any time if Hill’s team decides to move forward.
Without public filings, official disciplinary announcements, or new footage, the case remains in a holding pattern.
The Bigger Picture
The Tyreek Hill incident resurfaces bigger questions about policing, transparency, and accountability. The videos of Hill’s detainment reignited debates familiar to many Americans: When does a routine traffic stop become unnecessarily violent? Why aren’t officers held accountable when they fail to appear in court? And how do prior disciplinary issues go unaddressed for years?
While Hill returned to the field that same day — even mocking the handcuffs in a now-famous touchdown celebration — the impact of the incident still lingers in Miami and the NFL community.
What to Watch For Next
Here’s what could happen going forward:
MDPD may eventually release the internal-affairs findings. The county could impose discipline or policy changes based on the investigation. Hill’s legal team may file a civil-rights lawsuit. The case could appear in federal or state court if filings become public.
Until then, the situation remains officially unresolved, with more questions than answers.
For more information on the Tyreek Hill incident, see the following sources:
