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5 Tips to Help Families Manage Holiday Stress

While it is a joyous time of year, the never-ending to-do lists and school being out of session can make everyone feel a little overwhelmed, children included.

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(Family Features) ’Tis the season for holiday parties, travel, hosting and more. While it is a joyous time of year, the never-ending to-do lists and school being out of session can make everyone feel a little overwhelmed, children included.

Consider these five practical tips from the experts at KinderCare to help families proactively manage holiday stressors.

  1. Manage expectations. The commotion that often comes with the holiday season can be stressful for young children, but you can help alleviate worries by familiarizing them with what’s to come. Talk to them about upcoming travel arrangements, who they’ll see at events and what to expect throughout the season. If they are cautious in their current developmental stage, let loved ones know beforehand to give them a little extra space at festivities. Parents can also begin familiarizing little ones with relatives through photos and phone calls.
     
  2. Empower children. It’s important for children to understand they have a choice – and family members are willing to respect that choice. Parents should acknowledge their children’s body language and empower them to say “no” in uncomfortable situations. Parents can help by proactively asking questions such as, “Do you want a hug?” and if they say “no,” support them in their decision. This also helps establish healthy long-term social skills.
     
  3. Maintain your schedule. Children thrive on consistency, and during the holidays it’s important to at least try maintaining as much of what they’re used to as possible, such as naps, meals and playtime. Changes in schedule can result in more tantrums, so be sure to allow space for them to safely work through their emotions.

    It’s also important to note that children feed off their parents’ energy, so make sure you’re in tune with your own emotions. When overwhelmed, openly discuss how you’re feeling and involve your children when taking breaks. For example, “It’s loud in here, would you like to go sit outside with me?”
     
  4. Have fun. Make time to spread joy and integrate activities to bond as a family, such as reading holiday-themed books, crafting, playing games, singing or baking. Whether old traditions or new, these are moments your child can cherish for years to come.
     
  5. Keep others in mind. While it’s important to set children up for success ahead of the holidays, parents should also teach children the holiday season can look different for others. Putting a focus on experiences rather than the gifts can help them have more to discuss with their peers when returning to school. It’s also a good time to consider donating toys to make room for new ones or volunteering at a local charity to show children joy can be experienced through more than just gifts.

To find more tips to help manage holiday stress, or to access additional resources around social development, setting boundaries and routines, visit KinderCare.com.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

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KinderCare

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    Rebecca Jo is a mother of four and is a creative soul from Phoenix, Arizona, who also enjoys new adventures. Rebecca Jo has a passion for the outdoors and indulges in activities like camping, fishing, hunting and riding roller coasters. She is married to Rod Washington

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Rebecca Jo is a mother of four and is a creative soul from Phoenix, Arizona, who also enjoys new adventures. Rebecca Jo has a passion for the outdoors and indulges in activities like camping, fishing, hunting and riding roller coasters. She is married to Rod Washington

Lifestyle

As views on spanking shift worldwide, most US adults support it, and 19 states allow physical punishment in schools

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Spanking in the U.S. generally ends around age 12, when children become big enough to resist or fight back. Sandro Di Carlo Darsa/Brand X Pictures via Getty Images
Christina Erickson, University of North Dakota Nearly a half-century after the Supreme Court ruled that school spankings are permissible and not “cruel and unusual punishment,” many U.S. states allow physical punishment for students who have misbehaved. Today, over a third of the states allow teachers to paddle or spank students. More than 100,000 students are paddled in U.S. schools each year. Christina Erickson, an associate dean and professor of social work at the University of North Dakota, wrote a book on the subject: “Spanked: How Hitting Our Children is Harming Ourselves.” She discussed the scope of the practice and its effects with The Conversation.

What spanking legislation exists worldwide?

Around the world, 68 countries have banned the hitting of children in any form, including spanking. This movement began in 1979 with Sweden’s ban on all forms of physical punishment, including spanking in any setting, and including in the family home. The pace of change quickened in the early 2000s when more countries adopted similar laws. For example, the legal language of countries like Nepal rests on an emerging definition of children as rights holders similar to adults and as humans worth protecting from harm.
Back view of students sitting at desks inside a classroom.
Spanking in schools is legal in 19 states. Maskot/Getty Images

What are US policies toward spanking?

Each state in the U.S. has its own child abuse laws, and all states, tribes and territories aim to protect children from abuse. But all state laws also allow parents to hit their children if it does not leave an injury or a mark. A typical example is Oklahoma’s definition of child abuse and neglect. It includes an exception that permits parents to use ordinary force as a means of discipline, including spanking, using an implement like a switch or a paddle. However, leaving evidence of hitting, such as welts, bruises, swelling or lacerations, is illegal and considered child abuse in all states. Parental spanking of children is considered unique from other physical violence because of the relational context and the purpose. Laws entitle parents to hit their children for the purpose of teaching a lesson or punishing them to improve behavior. Children are the only individuals in society who can be hit by another person and the law does not regard it as assault. Spanking’s impact on a child is unfortunately similar to abusive hitting. Spanking has been labeled as an “Adverse Childhood Experience,” or ACE. These are events that cause poor health outcomes over the span of one’s life. The practice of spanking also affects parents. Acceptance of the physical discipline of spanking puts parents at risk for the escalation of physical punishment that leads to abuse. Parents who spank their child have the potential to abuse them and be caught in a legal and child protection system that aims to protect children from harm. It is unclear what triggers a parent to cross over from discipline into abuse. Research shows that spanking at a young age, such as a 1-year-old, increases the chance of involvement by Child Protective Services by 33%. Some school districts require permission from parents to allow disciplinary paddling in school, while others do not require any communication. State law does not assure agreement between parents and school districts on what offenses warrant a paddling. Parents may feel they have no alternative but to keep their child in school, or fear reprisal from school administrators. Some students are old enough to denounce the punishment themselves.
In this school district, physical punishment is used only when parents give written permission.

Is spanking considered the same as hitting?

The term spank conceals the concept of hitting and is so commonplace it goes unquestioned, despite the fact that it is a grown adult hitting a person much smaller than them. The concept is further concealed because hitting a child’s bottom hides any injuries that may occur. Types of hitting that are categorized as spanking have narrowed over the years but still persist. Some parents still use implements such as tree switches, wooden spoons, shoes or paddles to “spank” children, raising the chances for abuse. Most spanking ends by the age of 12, partly because children this age are able to fight back. When a child turns 18, parental hitting becomes the same as hitting any other adult, a form of domestic violence or assault throughout the U.S. There is a lack of a consistent understanding of what constitutes a spanking. The definition of spanking is unique to each family. The number of hits, clothed or not, or using an implement, all reflect geographical or familial differences in understanding what a spanking is.

How do US adults view spanking?

People in the United States generally accept spanking as part of raising children: 56% of U.S. adults strongly agree or agree that “… it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking.” This view has been slowly changing since 1986, when 83% of adults agreed with that statement. The laws worldwide that protect children from being hit usually begin by disallowing nonparental adults to hit children. This is happening in the U.S. too, where 31 states have banned paddling in schools. At a national level, efforts have been made to end physical punishment in schools. However, 19 states still allow spanking of children in public schools, which was upheld by a 1977 Supreme Court case. With the slow but steady drop of parents who believe that sometimes children need a good hard spanking, as well as the ban of paddling in schools in 31 states, one could argue that the U.S. is moving toward a reduction in spanking.

What does research say about spanking?

Spanking’s negative influence on children’s behavior has been documented for decades. Spanking seems to work in the moment when it comes to changing or stopping the immediate behavior, but the negative effects are hidden in the short term and occur later in the child’s life. Yet because the spanking seemed to work at the time, the parent doesn’t connect the continued bad behavior of the child to the spanking. An abundance of research shows that spanking causes increased negative behaviors in childhood. Spanking lowers executive functioning for children, increases dating violence as teenagers and even increases struggles with mental health and substance abuse in adulthood. Spanking does not teach new or healthy behaviors, and is a stress-inducing event for the child and the adult hitting them. No studies have shown positive long-term benefits from spanking. Because of the long-standing and expansive research findings showing a range of harm from spanking and the increased association with child abuse, the American Psychological Association recommends that parents should never spank their children.

What are some resources for parents?

Consider these questions when choosing a discipline method for your child:
  • Is the expectation of your child developmentally accurate? One of the most common reasons parents spank is because they are expecting a behavior the child is not developmentally able to execute.
  • Can the discipline you choose grow with your child? Nearly all spanking ends by age 12, when kids are big enough to fight back. Choose discipline methods you can use over the long term, such as additional chores, apologies, difficult conversations and others that can grow with your child.
  • Might there be another explanation for your child’s behavior? Difficulty of understanding, fear or miscommunication? Think of your child as a learner and use a growth mindset to help your child learn from their life experiences.
Parents are the leaders of their families. Good leaders show strength in nonthreatening ways, listen to others and explain their decisions. Don’t spoil your kids. But being firm does not have to include hitting.

Is spanking children good for parents?

Doubtful. Parents who hit their kids may be unaware that it influences their frustration in other relationships. Expressing aggression recharges an angry and short-tempered internal battery that transfers into other parts of the adults’ lives. Practicing calm when with your children will help you be calmer at work and in your other relationships. Listening to and speaking with a child about challenges, even from a very early age, is the best way to make it part of your relationship for the rest of your life. Choose a method that allows you to grow. Parents matter too.The Conversation Christina Erickson, Associate Dean in the College of Nursing and Professional Disciplines, University of North Dakota This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Make Summer as Safe as It is Fun

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Summer Fun (Family Features) With school out for summer, children will be away from teachers and coaches who might be trained in first aid and CPR, making it crucial for parents and summer caregivers to brush up on safety tips and life-saving skills. No matter where your summer plans take you, make sure you’re equipped with the knowledge and tools you need for safe, fun days in the sun. Keep a First Aid Kit on Hand Having basic first aid supplies handy lets you take care of minor boo-boos so the summer play can carry on. Plan to include cleansers, wound dressings, bandages and tape; antibiotic ointment; scissors and tweezers; bug bite treatment; and over-the-counter medications such as pain relievers and antihistamines for allergic reactions. Learn CPR Sudden cardiac arrest can happen to anyone at any age. Summer activities like swimming, boating and other watersports can lead to drowning or serious injuries, but so can outdoor play and sporting events in extreme heat. In fact, more than 23,000 children experience cardiac arrest outside of the hospital each year, according to the American Heart Association, approximately 40% of which are related to sports. Immediate CPR and automated external defibrillator (AED) use can double or even triple someone’s chance of surviving cardiac arrest. For teens and adults, Hands-Only CPR could save their life. For infants and children, CPR with breaths is recommended. Studies show children as young as 9 years old can learn and retain CPR skills. This summer, there are many learning options available to families, including online CPR courses, local in-person Heartsaver courses, CPR Anytime Training Kits and CPR kiosks, available in public places and airports across the country. 17473 detail image embed1 Know the Signs of Heat Exhaustion Even when it doesn’t seem extreme, heat and humidity can take a toll. On one end of the heat stress spectrum are heat cramps, which may ease if you take a break, drink water and cool off. More serious heat exhaustion may occur when the body’s temperature rises to 100-102 F and can include an inability to maintain physical activity, dizziness, nausea, dehydration and rapid heart rate. Try to cool down and drink water, but if symptoms worsen or vomiting occurs, seek medical help. Heat stroke may cause death or permanent disability. It is characterized by a body temperature of 104-106 F or higher, heat exhaustion symptoms, trouble walking and neurological difficulties such as slurred speech or confusion. Be Smart Around Water Drowning can happen quickly and silently. Every day, an average of 10 people of all ages die in the United States from accidental, non-boating related drowning. Always swim with a friend and keep watch, especially where water isn’t clear and underwater obstacles may be present. When boating, always wear a life jacket. At home, install fencing at least 4 feet high around pools and remove toys from the pool when it’s not in use so children aren’t tempted to play without supervision. Bike Safely Taking some safety precautions can make bike rides even more enjoyable. Before heading out, check all riders’ bikes to ensure everything is in good operating condition, including brakes, tires, chains and gears. Always wear a helmet and consider guards to protect your knees, elbows and hands in the event of a fall. Avoid riding at night, when you’re less visible to drivers, and wear bright colors that make you stand out. Drive with traffic (not against it) and follow the same rules as a car when it comes to street signs and intersections. Remain alert at all times and avoid distractions such as music that can prevent you from hearing warning sounds such as a car horn. Join the American Heart Association’s Nation of Lifesavers and make this summer as safe as it is fun with tips on CPR and other safety concerns at heart.org/nation.   Photo courtesy of Getty Images   collect?v=1&tid=UA 482330 7&cid=1955551e 1975 5e52 0cdb 8516071094cd&sc=start&t=pageview&dl=http%3A%2F%2Ftrack.familyfeatures SOURCE: American Heart Association

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Lifestyle

Laying the Foundation for Writing

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writing (Family Features) Learning to write is one of the defining milestones of early childhood, but it doesn’t happen all at once. Children build writing skills over time, from indecipherable scribbles to writing letters and words. While children progress at their own pace, families can help foster early writing development. Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, and Dr. Sonia Cabell, professor of reading education at Florida State University and member of The Goddard School’s Educational Advisory Board, provide this insight and guidance for families. Early Writing Milestones Writing begins in early toddlerhood, around 18-24 months. The earliest developmental milestone is when children scribble on paper with a crayon. By 2-3 years old, children often draw shapes and narrate their writing. Parents should show genuine interest to help build confidence and interest. Ask your children to read what they write, as this helps make the connection that marks on paper represent thoughts and ideas. It’s not expected for children younger than 3 to write identifiable letters. Instead, encourage them to make marks on paper without constraint, allowing them to freely express themselves. Around ages 3-5, children begin to move from writing (making marks) to handwriting, which is the formalized motion of making numerals and letters in recognizable forms. It’s vital for parents to value their children’s writing no matter what appears on the paper and provide opportunities for them to regularly engage in writing. Children at this age tend to write letters in different ways. It’s common, for example, for letters to appear backwards or from right to left. These are not causes for concern; this is a natural part of the development process. Writing Supports Reading (and Vice Versa) Reading and writing skills develop in tandem, reinforcing each other. Through writing, children experiment with how written language works, learning English moves from left to right and top to bottom. By estimating spelling – using their knowledge of letter shapes and sounds to attempt to write words – they are beginning to break the code of reading. Moreover, when children are composing stories, they are supporting comprehension and oral language growth, which are critical for reading development. 17554 detail image embed1 Encourage Writing at Home Make writing part of everyday life. While ensuring paper and writing utensils are accessible is a start, materials alone won’t spontaneously create writing experiences. Children naturally want to engage with things they see, so parents and older siblings should serve as writing models. For example, when writing a grocery list, ask your children to write their own lists. When you’re writing a thank-you note, have them write their own. The development of fine motor skills is also essential. One way to do this is provide tools like chopsticks or tongs that require them to use their forefinger and thumb in a pinching motion; this strengthens the hand muscles that are used to write. Also encourage play with small toys like blocks or beads that engage the hands in different ways. As fine motor skills improve, it becomes easier to grip writing utensils and write for extended periods. Writing Tools From apps to workbooks, countless tools and resources tout their ability to help children learn to write. Be wary. Typing on a tablet or computer is no substitute for learning to write by hand. Multiple studies have shown that writing – not typing – better promotes cognitive and literacy development. Avoid activities like workbooks that require repetitive writing of letters over and over, as this inhibits creativity and experimentation. These activities can cause children to fear making mistakes, which can lead to anxiety, frustration and a loss of interest. The best tools are often the simplest: a small writing utensil (not big or bulky; children have small hands and need appropriately sized utensils) and a blank piece of paper. Remember, children develop at their own pace. Provide encouragement and focus on effort, not perfection. To watch a writing webinar featuring Loquasto and Cabell and access additional parenting resources, visit the Parent Resource Center at GoddardSchool.com.   Photos courtesy of Shutterstock   collect?v=1&tid=UA 482330 7&cid=1955551e 1975 5e52 0cdb 8516071094cd&sc=start&t=pageview&dl=http%3A%2F%2Ftrack.familyfeatures SOURCE: The Goddard School

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