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Navigating Changes as a Family

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(Family Features) Every family experiences changes. Some are planned, others are unexpected. Some are joyful, others are marked by pain or uncertainty.

Whether it’s divorce, the death of a loved one, welcoming a new sibling or moving to a new home, these events impact every member of the family. For young children, even small changes can feel monumental, and how adults talk with them affects how they respond and cope.

Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School, shares this guidance to help families navigate change.

Why Transitions Matter to Young Children
To understand why transitions affect children so deeply, it’s important to remember children see the world differently than adults. Their routines, relationships and surroundings establish a sense of security and safety. Their families and role within them form their initial identities. Any disruption, big or small, can shake their foundation. Children can handle change, but adults must help them process it.

Children are naturally perceptive. When something changes, they notice. When they lack the language or understanding to ask questions, they express their feelings through behavior. It’s how young children express, “I’m feeling something, but I don’t have the words for it.”

When children become clingier after a new sibling is born or struggle with meltdowns in a new classroom, they’re trying to process the changes in their lives. These behaviors signal, “I’m not sure what to do with all these feelings.”

View Changes Through Children’s Eyes
Everyone experiences changes differently. Even within the same family, adults and children may perceive and respond to the same event in unique ways. An adult may see moving to a new home as an exciting fresh start while children may see it as leaving behind the only bedroom they’ve ever known.

Approaching changes through a child’s lens helps reframe what’s happening. Instead of minimizing feelings, adults can acknowledge the shift children are experiencing and guide them with care.

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Proactively Communicate
When families face big changes, one of the most common questions is, “What do we tell the kids?” There’s often a struggle between wanting to protect children from overwhelming emotions and offering them enough information to make sense of what’s going on.

Rather than avoiding the conversation, discuss what’s happening using this framework:

  1. Acknowledge what’s happening. Use clear, simple language, such as: “Daddy is moving to a different house and you’ll have two homes now.”
  2. Focus on the present or immediate future. Young children often don’t have a solid grasp of time. While they can understand routines and orders of events, it takes well into elementary school for them to truly conceptualize time.
  3. Name the feelings. Give children words for what they might be feeling. “It’s OK to feel sad or confused right now. Sometimes changes feel hard.”
  4. Provide reassurance. Let them know that even though things are changing, they’re still safe and loved.
  5. Encourage questions. If you don’t have an answer, it’s OK to say, “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out,” or “We’re figuring this out together.”

Avoidance is a natural instinct, but silence leaves children to fill in the gaps with their imaginations, which can be scarier than reality. Moreover, when they sense something is different but no one is talking about it, children might feel alone in their confusion. By proactively communicating, you tell them, “I’m here with you.”

Embrace Feelings
Transitions can be emotional and children need space to express their feelings without judgment. When a child cries or lashes out, instead of responding with, “Don’t be sad,” validate the experience by saying, “I see you have big feelings right now. I’m here with you.”  Help your child manage these feelings by encouraging active expressions, such as drawing, writing or moving to music.

Transitions can be challenging, but they’re also opportunities to build resilience and deeper connections. Approaching big changes with empathy, proactive communication and an open heart helps children feel more secure and confident to move forward.

To watch a webinar featuring Loquasto sharing additional guidance and access parenting insights and resources, visit the Parent Resource Center at GoddardSchool.com.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock

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SOURCE:
The Goddard School

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/

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Do Mom and Dad really know what’s best? A psychologist explains why kids see their parents as bossier than they are

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Nobody likes being told what to do, but a parent’s main job is to protect their kids. VioletaStoimenova/E+ via Getty Images

Annie Pezalla, Macalester College

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Curious Kids is a series for children of all ages. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, send it to [email protected].


Why do my parents always act like they know best? – Taliyah, age 12, Gwinnett, Georgia


Nobody likes getting bossed around, but your parents’ bossiness is probably well-intentioned.

As a psychologist who studies family relationships, I can tell you that a parent’s No. 1 job is to keep their kids safe. When a kid becomes a teenager, their world becomes more dangerous. Relationships with friends can become complicated and even toxic. Drugs and alcohol become more readily available and more tantalizing. Mental health can take a nosedive, and social media doesn’t help.

There are a bunch of reasons why these risks increase as you grow up, but peer pressure is mostly to blame.

To protect their teens from those dangers, parents have lots of strategies. They may discipline their kids – “You’re grounded!” – or challenge them to do better with phrases like, “When I was your age, I didn’t behave like that.” Or they might reprimand you: “I’m really disappointed in you.”

If your parents have ever acted like that with you, then it is likely about keeping you safe. Most parents understand the dangers you face. They may have experienced them personally and want you to avoid the same mistakes they made. If your parents’ guidance is keeping you from harm, I’d say that they really do know what’s best.

Your brain is still developing

OK, I got that out of the way. Are you still reading? I hope so, because this next part is more interesting and nuanced, and it’s about you and your brain.

Black and white image of a mom disciplining son.
The finger wag: Always in style. H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty Images

Right now, your brain is undergoing remarkable growth. Starting around 10 years old, there’s a flurry of activity in what’s called the subcortical regions of your brain – a scientific term for the brain’s inner core. These parts of the brain are associated with emotions like anger, anxiety and defensiveness.

Are you feeling those emotions pretty regularly these days? If so, congratulations! You are 100% normal.

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As you get older, your brain’s outer regions will become more developed, too. The last bit to mature is right behind your forehead, in an area called the prefrontal cortex. That area is associated with the ability to understand how someone else feels, and to put yourself in their shoes.

Experts who study brain development call this skill “perspective-taking.” It means that when you’re reprimanded for breaking the rules – for example, by staying out late – you don’t lash out defensively. Instead, you acknowledge that the person doing the reprimanding is worried or scared, or simply looking out for you.

Seeing life from another perspective

For adults, this perspective-taking can be really hard. For teens, I’m sorry to say, it’s even harder. That’s because your prefrontal cortex simply hasn’t finished developing yet; it won’t be fully functional until about age 25.

Your teenage brain currently allows you to do many incredible things, but you are biologically inclined to see life from your own perspective and struggle to understand why other people act the way they do.

In other words, your perceptions of your parents as bossy are based on the abilities of your yet-to-be fully developed brain. Meanwhile, what is fully developed is the part of your brain associated with those big emotions. That’s a tough combination.

A final note: You might think that your parents “always act like they know what’s best,” but, in my parenting research, it’s clear that they’re often unsure how to handle certain situations. Over 40% of the parents in my last study shared self-critical thoughts about how they’re doing as a parent. In other words, they’re struggling, too.

If you can, give your parents a break – and maybe even a hug.

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Hello, curious kids! Do you have a question you’d like an expert to answer? Ask an adult to send your question to [email protected]. Please tell us your name, age and the city where you live.

And since curiosity has no age limit – adults, let us know what you’re wondering, too. We won’t be able to answer every question, but we will do our best.

Annie Pezalla, Visiting Assistant Professor of Psychology, Macalester College

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.

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Tips for a Safe and Festive Holiday Season

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(Family Features) As people prepare to gather with family and friends this holiday season, it’s important to think about health and safety.

“With the holidays just around the corner, now is the perfect time to think about how you can help protect yourself from serious illness from flu, COVID-19 and RSV – and support your loved ones in doing the same,” said Dr. Rachel Levine, assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). “Vaccination is an important step in having a happy and healthy celebration.”

While preparing for holiday festivities, keep these recommendations in mind to help protect yourself from severe flu, COVID-19 and RSV.

Flu: Flu season usually peaks during the winter months, so now is a great time to get the 2024-25 flu vaccine. It’s recommended for people 6 months and older to lower their risk of infection or serious illness from the flu. In fact, people who skipped their flu shot last year were twice as likely to need medical help for the flu. The best time to get vaccinated is at least a couple of weeks before a holiday gathering. But getting vaccinated later in the season can still help. Encourage your family and friends to get the flu vaccine, too. Together you can create safer holiday celebrations.

COVID-19: Getting vaccinated against COVID-19 is also important for everyone ages 6 months and older. The updated COVID-19 vaccines offer the best protection against serious illness from the virus, especially for those at higher risk. This includes people with certain health conditions or older adults, which may include parents, grandparents and great aunts or uncles. By getting vaccinated, people of all ages can lower their risk of getting severely sick. In fact, young adults are at higher risk of developing Long COVID than older adults. However, staying up to date on your COVID-19 vaccines lowers your risk of Long COVID, too.

RSV: RSV can be especially risky for older adults and babies. That’s why everyone 75 and older, people 60-74 with certain health conditions or who live in a nursing home and pregnant people should get the RSV vaccine. Pregnant people should get the RSV vaccine at 32-36 weeks of pregnancy to help protect their newborns from severe RSV during their first six months of life.

As you prepare for the holidays, remember that prevention is the best way to keep from getting seriously sick from flu, COVID-19 and RSV. By getting vaccinated now, you can enjoy the holiday season with greater confidence and less risk of missing time together. Being vaccinated helps keep your symptoms milder if you get infected after vaccination so you can do the things you want to do with less risk of spreading infection.

Talk with your doctor about which vaccines are right for you as well as for any loved ones you help care for. Visit cdc.gov/RiskLessDoMore for more information on vaccines, or visit vaccines.gov to get started.

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The Effects of Flu, COVID-19 and RSV on Different Populations

People who are Black, Hispanic or who live in rural areas may be at higher risk of severe illness from flu, COVID-19 and RSV than others. Getting vaccinated is the best protection from getting seriously sick from these viruses. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):

  • Last flu season, Black adults were more than twice as likely as white adults to be hospitalized for flu.
  • Last flu season, Hispanic adults were more likely than white adults to be hospitalized for flu.
  • One in 3 adults living in rural areas have never been vaccinated against COVID-19. For people living in rural areas, health services may be far away. That can mean it takes some planning to get vaccinated. But being far from medical care also means it’s even more important to lower your risk of serious illness by getting vaccinated.

Photos courtesy of Shutterstock

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SOURCE:
United States Department of Health and Human Services

Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.


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Why sending a belated gift is not as bad as you probably think − and late is better than never

Research shows that gift recipients are less concerned about timely delivery than givers believe. Sending a late gift is often perceived more favorably than not sending anything at all.

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The thoughtfulness counts more than the timeliness. Maria Korneeva/Moment via GettyImages

Rebecca Walker Reczek, The Ohio State University; Cory Haltman, The Ohio State University, and Grant Donnelly, The Ohio State University

If finding the right present and making sure the recipient gets it on time leaves you feeling anxious, you’re not alone. More than half of Americans say that gift-giving stresses them out.

Concerns about on-time delivery are so common that people share holiday deadlines for each shipping service. And in the event that you can’t meet these deadlines, there are now handy etiquette guides offering advice for how to inform the recipient.

If you’ve sent late gifts thanks to shipping delays, depleted stocks or even good old-fashioned procrastination, our new research may offer some welcome news.

In a series of studies that will soon be published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, we found that people overestimate the negative consequences of sending a late gift.

Trying to follow norms

Why do people tend to overestimate these consequences? Our findings indicate that when people give presents, they pay more attention to norms about gifting than the recipients do.

For example, other researchers have found that people tend to be reluctant to give used products as presents because there’s a norm that gifts should be new. In reality, though, many people are often open to receiving used stuff.

We found that this mismatch also applies to beliefs about the importance of timing. Many people worry that a late gift will signal that they don’t care about the recipient. They then fear their relationship will suffer.

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In reality, though, these fears are largely unfounded. Gift recipients are much less worried about when the gift arrives.

Unfortunately, aside from causing unnecessary worry, being overly sensitive about giving a late present can also influence the gift you choose to buy.

A Postal Service worker places packages on a parcel sorting machine.
A U.S. Postal Service worker places packages on a parcel sorting machine on Dec. 12, 2022. Alejandra Villa Loarca/Newsday RM via Getty Images

Compensating for lateness

To test how lateness concerns affect gift choice, we conducted an online study before Mother’s Day in 2021. We had 201 adults participate in a raffle. They could choose to send their mother either a cheaper gift basket that would arrive in time for the occasion or a more expensive one that would arrive late.

Concerns about lateness led nearly 70% of the participants to choose the less expensive and more prompt option.

In another study, we conducted the same kind of raffle for Father’s Day and got similar results.

Aside from finding that people will choose inferior items to ensure speedier delivery, we also found that givers may feel that they can compensate for lateness with effort.

In another online study of 805 adults, we discovered that participants were less likely to expect a late delivery to damage a relationship if they signaled their care for the recipient in a different way. For example, they believed that putting an item together by hand, versus purchasing it preassembled, could compensate for a present being belated.

Better late than never?

If sending something late isn’t as bad as expected, you may wonder whether it’s OK to simply not send anything at all.

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We’d caution against going that route.

In another online study of 903 participants, we found that recipients believed that not receiving anything at all was more likely to harm a relationship than receiving something as much as two months late.

That is, late is better than never as far as those receiving gifts are concerned.

You may want to keep that in mind, even if that new gaming console, action figure or virtual reality headset is sold out this holiday season. It could still be a welcome surprise if it arrives in January or February.

Rebecca Walker Reczek, Professor of Marketing, The Ohio State University; Cory Haltman, Ph.D. Candidate in Marketing, The Ohio State University, and Grant Donnelly, Assistant Professor of Marketing, The Ohio State University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

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Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.


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