Lifestyle
Self-forgiveness is more than self-comfort − a philosopher explains
Self-forgiveness requires confronting negative emotions, acknowledging wrongdoing, and is essential for moral growth and healthier relationships.
Last Updated on March 7, 2026 by Daily News Staff
Mordechai Gordon, Quinnipiac University
As the Jewish High Holidays approach, which begin with Rosh Hashanah and continue with Yom Kippur, the theme of forgiveness keeps coming to my mind.
The 10 days from Rosh Hashanah to Yom Kippur are referred to in the Jewish tradition as the days of repentance, or the days of awe. During this period, Jews who observe the holidays implore God to respond to their sins with mercy, while also requesting forgiveness from anyone those individuals may have wronged in the past year.
Most conversations about forgiveness focus on the meaning and value of forgiving others. Douglas Stewart, a philosopher of education who has researched forgiveness extensively, writes that to forgive implies a willingness to let go of our negative emotions or hard feelings and to adopt in their place a more generous and compassionate attitude toward our wrongdoers.
Other philosophers have pointed out that the benefits of forgiveness include overcoming resentment, restoring relationships and setting a wrong to rest in the past – without vengeance. As such, to forgive should be considered morally valuable and admirable.
But what about self-forgiveness? Is it morally valuable, or just something we do to make ourselves feel better? And what is self-forgiveness, anyway?
As a philosopher of education, some of my own research has wrestled with these questions.
Defining self-forgiveness
Self-forgiveness means managing to work through painful feelings such as guilt, shame and deep disappointment with ourselves. It entails transforming negative attitudes, such as contempt, anger and shame, into more positive emotions such as respect and humility.
It is important to recognize, however, that a wrongdoer cannot simply reject shame: They must confront it. Moral philosophers such as Byron Williston assert that people who have deeply wronged others, such as betraying a loved one, need to experience shame and take responsibility for their actions – such as asking for forgiveness. Otherwise, an attempt at self-forgiveness is not likely to be meaningful.
Finally, we need to keep in mind that self-forgiveness does not imply someone has extinguished all the negative feelings directed at themselves or is done with self-reproach. This would amount to an impossible goal.
Rather, as philosopher Robin Dillon pointed out, self-forgiveness suggests that someone is no longer being consumed or overwhelmed by those negative feelings. In short, it is possible to forgive ourselves and still view ourselves with a demanding and critical eye.
Moral development
Getting there, though, is not easy. Self-forgiveness entails working through a rigorous process of coming to terms with wrongdoing.
According to ethicist Margaret Holmgren, that process includes at least four steps: acknowledging that what we did was wrong; coming to terms with why it was wrong; allowing ourselves to experience grief and self-resentment at having injured another person; and, finally, making a genuine effort to correct the attitudes that led to the harmful act and making amends to the victim.
In other words, confronting negative emotions, attitudes and patterns is essential prior to attempting to restore relationships with others. Only once we are able to relax the preoccupation with guilt and shame, and to genuinely forgive ourselves, can we meaningfully contribute to relationships as liberated and equal partners – especially in ongoing ones, such as with family and friends.
Of course, there are cases in which the offense is so vast, such as genocide, that no individual can make full restitution or provide an adequate apology for the wrong.
There are other times when an apology is impossible. Perhaps victims are dead; perhaps a direct apology would retraumatize them or do more harm than good.
In those cases, I would argue, an offender can still attempt to work toward self-forgiveness – acknowledging not only the victim’s intrinsic worth but their own, regardless of their ability to make amends. This in itself is moral growth: appreciating that neither is a mere object that can be manipulated or abused.
The take-home point, I would argue, is that going through the process of self-forgiveness is morally beneficial. It can not only liberate people who tend to reproach themselves incessantly, but it can enhance their ability to relate ethically toward others – to acknowledge wrongdoing, while simultaneously affirming their own value.
Most people have experienced at least one situation in which they inflicted pain on someone else and recognized that their words or actions caused harm. In such situations, we also often feel ashamed of ourselves and attempt to apologize or make amends.
Yet I hope that during this High Holiday season we keep in mind that self-forgiveness should also be considered essential. If moral development means a process in which our self-awareness and character mature, then acknowledging wrongdoing and experiencing shame, followed by self-forgiveness, are indispensable for that process.
Mordechai Gordon, Professor of Education, Quinnipiac University
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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Arizona Scholarships 2026: $1,500 Awards + Free ACF Virtual Workshops
Arizona scholarships 2026: Arizona scholarships are open through ACF: one application for 160+ awards, plus ARAC’s $1,500 Ashby-Herring scholarships due April 6, 2026.
Last Updated on March 11, 2026 by Daily News Staff
Arizona Scholarships 2026: $1,500 Awards + Free ACF Virtual Workshops
Scholarship season moves fast, and for a lot of Arizona families, the hardest part isn’t writing the essay or gathering transcripts—it’s simply finding the right opportunities in time.
The Archer Ragsdale Arizona Chapter (ARAC), Tuskegee Airmen, Inc. is encouraging students and the community to take advantage of scholarship resources through the Arizona Community Foundation (ACF), including an easy online application that can match applicants with 160+ scholarships—plus virtual workshops where students can get help directly from ACF’s scholarship team.
Whether you’re a high school senior, a current college student, or an adult re-entry student, ACF’s scholarship portal is designed to meet people where they are.
The Big Picture: One Application, 160+ Scholarships
According to the flyer, ACF awarded $6.3 million in scholarships last year, with over 160 scholarships available through a single, easy application.
- Application opens: January 1
- Most deadlines: March and April
- Where to start: https://azfoundation.org/scholarships
- ACF scholarship email: scholarship@azfoundation.org
What to watch for: Even if a student is only targeting one scholarship, completing the ACF application can surface additional matches they didn’t know existed.
ARAC Tuskegee Airmen Scholarship: Ashby-Herring Scholarships ($1,500) — Deadline April 6, 2026
ARAC (Tuskegee Airmen, Inc.) awards two or more scholarships to deserving Arizona students who are college-bound. The flyer highlights the Ashby-Herring scholarships, named in honor of late founding ARAC members who were original Tuskegee Airmen.
Award: Two Ashby-Herring scholarships (each $1,500)
Deadline:April 6, 2026
Apply here:https://www.azfoundation.org/archer-ragsdale
Eligibility:
- Graduating high school senior from Arizona
- Attending a 2-year or 4-year college/university
- African-American
- 3.0 GPA or higher
- Demonstrated financial need
Free Virtual Workshops (Zoom): Get Help With Your Application
If you’ve ever watched a student stall out halfway through an application, these workshops are a smart fix: they’re designed so applicants can work on their scholarship application with support from ACF’s scholarship team.
Workshop dates (Zoom):
- February 12, 2026 — 4:00 to 5:00 p.m.
- March 5, 2026 — 4:00 to 5:00 p.m.
- March 26 — 4:00 to 5:00 p.m. (date listed on flyer; confirm year when registering)
Register here:https://acf.cventevents.com/acfscholarships2026
View the flyer here: https://stmdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Deadline-updated-12.29.2025-Archer-Ragsdale-Flyer-FINAL.pdf
Download Flyer (PDF)
What to watch for: Register for the dates you can attend and come prepared with what you already have (basic info, activities list, questions). One hour of guided progress can save days of procrastination.
Why This Matters (and Why Sharing Helps)
The Tuskegee Airmen legacy is rooted in excellence, discipline, and breaking barriers—and scholarships tied to that legacy are meant to elevate futures for the next generation.
If you’re a parent, teacher, coach, mentor, or neighbor, consider this your nudge: forward the link, post it in a group chat, or share it with a student who might qualify. Deadlines hit quickly, and the easiest scholarship to win is often the one you actually apply for.
View the press release: https://stmdailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/FOR-IMMEDIATE-RELEASE.pdf
Related Links:
- https://azfoundation.org/scholarships
- https://acf.cventevents.com/acfscholarships2026
- https://www.azfoundation.org/archer-ragsdale
College Life
College isn’t just classes and credits — it’s learning how to manage your time, money, health, and relationships while you build a future that actually fits. In our College Life coverage, STM Daily News shares practical, real-world guides for students and families: campus living tips, study and productivity habits, career prep, budgeting basics, mental wellness check-ins, and smart ways to make the most of college in Arizona and beyond.
Expect quick reads, useful takeaways, and “what to do next” advice — whether you’re a first-year student, a transfer, or heading back to school.
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home gardening
Start Planning Now for a Thriving Spring Garden
Winter offers an ideal time to plan for a successful spring garden. Assess your current space, research planting ideas, and design an efficient layout. Enhance soil health with compost, start seeds indoors for stronger plants, and organize tools to ensure readiness for the growing season. Prepare now for a thriving garden.
Last Updated on March 11, 2026 by Daily News Staff
Start Planning Now for a Thriving Spring Garden
(Family Features) While winter weather puts outdoor gardening on pause in most parts of the country, the colder months offer a perfect opportunity to begin preparing for a lush garden come springtime.
With a little creativity, and some extra time spent creating a plan, you can set yourself on a path toward success before the growing season even begins.
Assess Your Space and Research Ideas
Evaluate your current garden, taking note of what worked well last season and where improvements can be made. Use this downtime to sketch an updated layout, research companion plants and decide which fruits, vegetables or flowers you want to grow next based on what did (or didn’t) work last spring.
Build an Updated Blueprint
Winter is the ideal time to upgrade your garden design and make tweaks for efficiency. Use the offseason to consider crop rotation patterns for optimal soil health as well as ways to maximize your space such as raised beds, trellises or containers. You can also make a list of materials needed for any new features you may be adding, such as an irrigation system, and map out their placement so you’re ready to build as soon as the weather allows.
Nourish the Soil
Even if the ground is frozen, you can prepare your garden beds by adding compost, leaves or organic matter in late winter, ensuring nutrients are available when spring arrives. Also remember to test your soil’s pH level now, which can help guide your fertilization plan.
Start Seeds Indoors
If you’re eager to get your hands dirty, consider starting your seeds indoors. Early seed starting gives plants a head start, allowing you to transplant stronger seedlings outdoors when temperatures warm.
Get Organized
Use the slower pace of winter to clean and sharpen your garden tools, sort through leftover seeds and make a supply checklist so you’re ready to dig in when warmer days arrive.
Find more advice to get your garden ready to burst to life in spring at eLivingtoday.com.
Photo courtesy of Shutterstock
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pets
‘Pawty’ Tips for Celebrating Your Pets
People spent $147 billion on pets last year. Dog birthday parties are trending. Tips: spacious play areas, engaging activities, personalized details, insect control, themed snacks, and friendly guest lists.
Last Updated on March 11, 2026 by Daily News Staff
(Family Features) It’s no secret – people love their pets. Last year alone, people spent $147 billion on their pets, according to the American Pet Products Association, which included throwing what has turned into one of the hottest invites on social media these days: pet parties. There have been more than 1 million posts using #DogBirthday to show off these celebrations.
With dog birthday parties and adoptions being celebrated across the country, entertainment ideas can be borrowed from regular parties – but the special guests will need to be taken into account when planning a party designed for pooches.
Plan a pup party with these tips from Mindy Weiss, a best-selling author and event planner for notable celebrity clients.
Plan for a Place to Play
When hosting a dog party, make sure there is plenty of space for the pups to play, whether it’s a fenced yard or a large indoor area. The more room they have to zoom around, the happier (and safer) everyone will be.
Keep the dogs entertained with activities like a ball pit, kiddie pool or basket of tennis balls. If you’re feeling ambitious, hide treats around the yard for the dogs to find. It’s a great way to keep their tails wagging and their minds engaged while they have a blast.
Personalize Party Details
Subtle accents can elevate any party. Pick a theme that can come to life through the decor and details, such as a “retro dog disco,” where both the humans and dogs can dress up. Small touches like personalized dog tags or themed water bowls and dog treats can make any pet party a memorable event.
Avoid Party Crashers
When guests and dogs are moving indoors and out, alongside (often messy) food, flying insects will likely try to sneak their way in. That’s why no party is complete without this top pet party essential – the STEM Attracts and Traps Flying Insects Light Trap. It is people- and pet-friendly when used as directed, insecticide-free and uses a soft UV light to attract flying insects with a dual-sided, refillable cartridge to trap them. It can also be used throughout the home in kitchens, garages, around pet feeding stations and more.
Remember the Pup Parents
Don’t forget about the humans. While the dogs are the guests of honor, the humans might also enjoy a nibble. Consider staying on theme with mini hot dogs, bone-shaped pretzels or “pup pop” cake pops.
Bring on the Besties
Just like humans have best friends, dogs do too. Before sending out invites, make sure the guest list includes dogs that are friendly with your pup and play well with others. A little pre-party check can help ensure everyone has a good time.
Learn more at stemforbugs.com.
SOURCE:
STEM
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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