adult relationships
Negative marital communications leave literal, figurative wounds
Study links destructive interaction patterns to lower immune function
Newswise — COLUMBUS, Ohio – A tendency for one or both spouses to avoid or withdraw from tough conversations could set up married couples for emotional distress, bad feelings about their relationship, chronic inflammation and lowered immune function, new research suggests.
The analysis revisits data from a 2005 Ohio State University study that showed the stress couples feel during a brief argument could slow their bodies’ ability to heal from wounds by at least a day – a landmark finding at the time showing how psychological stress affects immunity.
A fresh look at the data shows that when married couples typically communicate with each other in negative ways, both spouses – and women in particular – suffer emotionally and their immune function wanes, in the form of having wounds that take longer to heal. The analysis revealed that the health consequences of negative communication patterns were evident even before the 2005 study began: These couples arrived at the lab with higher blood markers for inflammation.
The initial trial showed that one stressful argument – in a lab, recorded and analyzed by researchers – could harm immune function. This new study suggests that the more combative arguments in the lab were linked to more negative typical marital communication for these couples – and those daily patterns are a likely culprit behind persistent negative emotions and biological markers that can lead to poorer health outcomes.
“Marriage is associated with better health, but chronically distressed marriages can worsen health,” said first author Rosie Shrout, who completed this work as a postdoctoral researcher in Ohio State’s Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research (IBMR). “It’s important to understand what is going on behind the scenes that contributes to these effects.
“What we’re seeing is that both chronic daily negativity and acute negativity, and their combination – experiencing both of those – is particularly bad for couples’ emotions, relationships and immune functioning,” said Shrout, now an assistant professor of human development and family science at Purdue University.
The new study was published recently in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology.
The 2005 research was co-led by Jan Kiecolt-Glaser, senior author of the new study and professor emerita of psychiatry and psychology at Ohio State, whose decades of discoveries as a leader of the IBMR have shown the many ways in which stressful life events are detrimental to health.
The 2005 work involved 42 married heterosexual couples who had been together for an average of 12 years. Researchers tested the baseline level of a proinflammatory protein in their blood and used a device to raise small blisters on each partner’s forearm – the wounds’ healing progress was monitored as an indicator of how well each participant’s immune system was functioning.
Participants completed questionnaires assessing their typical communication patterns when problems arise – mutual constructive or symmetrical positive communication, or variations of negative communication patterns that involved either mutual avoidance or instances where one partner made demands and the other withdrew from the discussion in response.
Couples were recorded having discussions in two separate lab visits: The first focused on social support and the second was an attempt to resolve a known source of tension in the marriage, such as finances or in-laws. Researchers coded negative and positive behaviors during these talks.
In follow-ups, couples evaluated the discussions – whether they were satisfied with the conversation, and the degree to which they felt supported and understood by their partner, and in control and working productively while sorting out a problem. Their blister wound healing was assessed daily for eight days and then again on day 12.
In the new study, statistical modeling of the qualitative and biological data showed that couples’ negative communication patterns – specifically mutual avoidance or demand/withdrawal – had cascading effects on how they felt after the lab conversations, and on their inflammation and immune function measures.
“If they were more negative typically on a day-to-day basis, and were negative in those specific interactions, they rated the discussion more negatively and less positively, they felt fewer positive emotions, and their wounds healed more slowly,” Shrout said. “That chronic negativity and acute negativity had emotional, relational and immune effects – most notably for women.”
In contrast, couples who reported more mutual constructive communication patterns rated the lab conversations more favorably.
A few specific findings suggested how insidious the effects of poor communication patterns could be: Wounds healed more slowly in couples who mutually avoided talking about tough topics and also showed fewer positive behaviors during lab discussions. Even when mutual avoiders were more positive while trying to resolve conflict, that positivity didn’t help their wounds heal more quickly.
Kiecolt-Glaser, who has led a number of marriage and health studies, said it doesn’t take long for married couples to have expectations of what the marriage is like that can override any evidence to the contrary. In a bad marriage, a negative behavior is perceived as reinforcement of this expectation, while in a good marriage, a negative behavior is taken as a sign one’s partner is in distress.
“This study provides a window into relationships: What couples say about their relationship really did translate not only into how they behaved, but also what they said about the behavior, and their biology,” she said. “They walked into this study situation, and the way they’re responding may in part be because that’s what they’re expecting. They have such well-worn tracks in terms of interactions that it’s hard to derail the train.”
That doesn’t mean all is lost, Shrout noted – couples have lots of options to pursue education or therapy to help them learn better communication skills.
This work was supported by an Ohio State Presidential Postdoctoral Scholars Fellowship and the National Institutes of Health.
Additional co-authors include Megan Renna of the University of Southern Mississippi, and Annelise Madison and William Malarkey of Ohio State.
Source: Ohio State University
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adult relationships
‘For the very first time I really enjoyed sex!’ − how lesbian escort agencies became a form of self-care in Japan
The Lesbian Girls Club in Japan offers legal female-to-female sex services, addressing women’s unmet sexual desires while challenging traditional views on female sexuality and intimacy.
Marta Fanasca, Università di Bologna
In Japanese society, prostitution is often framed as a necessary evil – a way to maintain social harmony by providing men with an outlet for their pent-up sexual desires.
While there are a number of issues with this view – such as the implication that men are inherently unable to control their sexual impulses – it also has a critical flaw: It frames prostitution as something that only men want or need.
In Japan, female sexuality is often seen through the narrow lens of heterosexual romance and motherhood.
“Rezu fūzoku” upends this view.
Rezu fūzoku, which roughly translates to “lesbian sexual entertainment,” refers to agencies where female sex workers provide sex to female clients. And in Japan, it’s entirely legal. I began investigating female-to-female commercial sex and escort services in 2023. After initially studying the phenomenon of female-to-male crossdressers offering nonsexual, romantic dates to female clients, I decided to expand the investigation to focus on clients seeking sex and romance. The names of the sex workers and clients I interviewed in my research have been changed in this article to protect their anonymity.
Tapping into a niche market
Unlike in many countries that historically criminalized homosexual acts, Japan only briefly outlawed them in the 1870s, during an era of rapid Western-inspired legal reforms.
After that period, the country did not reintroduce laws criminalizing homosexual acts, allowing same-sex relationships to exist largely without legal interference – even if they remained frowned upon in Japanese society.
Furthermore, homosexual prostitution has never been illegal. Japan did enact a strict anti-prostitution law in 1956 that bans the practice, which it exclusively defines as penetrative, paid sex between a man and a woman. As a result, any paid-for activity that falls outside of this definition – such as homosexual sex – is not considered illegal.
For my research, I interviewed a man named Obō, the founder of the Lesbian Girls Club, an agency with branches in Osaka and Tokyo providing female sex workers for female clients.
Obō started out his career as a web developer but soon became burned out and disillusioned.
“I wanted to start my own business, and since I was building websites for several adult entertainment shops, I decided to try something similar. It quickly became clear that while the market was flooded with services for men, there were almost none for women.”
So Obō opened Lesbian Girls Club in 2007, an agency arranging meetups between sex workers and female clients in hotels, rather than at a brothel. Since then, it’s become an institution in Japan, with some of his original sex workers still working for Obō.
A diverse clientele
Initially a niche market, rezu fūzoku gained wider attention when the manga artist Nagata Kabi used Obō’s agency and later chronicled her experience in her work “My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness.”
The award-winning manga, which was also released in the U.S. and Europe, introduced the service to many Japanese women who hadn’t previously known about it.
Despite the term “rezu” – lesbian – in the name, Obō’s agency welcomes women of all sexual orientations.
“Some of our clients are lesbians,” he told me. “But many are straight, also married. Most are between 26 and 35 years old, though we also have clients in their 60s and 70s.”
Many Japanese women still find it difficult to explore their sexuality and express their sexual desires, even with their partners. This often leads to unsatisfactory sexual experiences, which can pave the way for sexless relationships– something which is increasingly commonplace in Japan and a situation that many users of rezu fūzoku services shared with me.
As Yuriko, a 35-year-old heterosexual client of rezu fūzoku, explained, “For the very first time I really enjoyed sex! Rezu fūzoku gave me the chance to try new things and to feel good.”
Sex is wellness
In my interviews, the term “iyashi” often popped up.
It means “healing” and refers to activities or services that provide relief from daily stress and negative feelings. Just as yoga classes or massages are seen as forms of iyashi, sex – especially commercial sex – is also branded this way in Japan.
“Men do not understand women and their bodies,” Yuriko said. “But sexuality is a fundamental part of life, and ignoring it only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. Sex is iyashi.”
The use of this word shows how prostitution in Japan is not always viewed as something to be ashamed of but can also be seen as a form of self-care.
For instance, the practice of dispatching a sex worker to a hotel where she meets the client is called in Japanese “deriheru,” or delivery health, stressing the connection with the iyashi realm. Also, a 90-minute session with a professional sex worker for women is often called “wellness course,” which ties sex to physical and psychological well-being.
Sex workers themselves also emphasize the connection between their occupation and iyashi practices, often referring to themselves as “therapists” or “cast” and downplaying the sexual aspects of their work, instead highlighting the wellness-related ones. Aware of the positive impact their services have on women, many of them expressed pride in their work during our interviews.
“It’s rewarding,” Moe, who has been in the industry for six years, told me. “When a customer tells me she was really struggling but now feels she can try a little harder because we met, I feel glad I chose this job.”
Her colleague, Makiko, agreed. “I am proud of this job. It’s very important to me, and I believe it’s quite needed in society.”
Despite the widespread stigma against sex workers in Japanese society, the legal status of rezu fūzoku services offers employees greater protection and ensures clear working conditions.
And as a marker of how the industry has grown, Tokyo alone is currently home to over 10 rezu fūzoku agencies, according to my research.
‘A refuge for the heart’
Yet, despite the existence of services aimed at women’s sexual well-being, gender inequality remains rampant in Japan.
Women still face significant social and economic barriers. According to the World Economic Forum’s 2024 Global Gender Gap Report, Japan ranks 118th out of 146 countries for gender equality and holds the lowest position among G7 nations.
By catering to women’s sexual desires outside of the traditional heterosexual framework, rezu fūzoku challenges conventional narratives about women’s sexuality. In a country that has been experiencing falling marriage and birth rates, listening to women and understanding their needs has become increasingly important.
This legal form of sex work clearly fills a need, offering women a safe place to try new things and entrust their sexual pleasure to an expert – who happens to be another woman. One thing that stood out in my research was how popular the service was among women in heterosexual relationships who seemed eager to explore desires that may be difficult to share with a partner.
But what female clients seek often goes beyond sex itself. Many women simply want intimacy – being hugged, cuddled and cared for in a way that is missing not only in the lives of single women but also in those of women in relationships.
“I use this service for comfort and healing,” said Sachi, a 42-year-old woman who’s married to a man. “It is a kind of refuge for the heart offering emotional richness.”
Marta Fanasca, Marie Curie Global Fellow, Università di Bologna
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Wyzr: The Leading Activity and Health & Wellness-Based Friendship App Leads the Shift Away from High-Pressure Dating Apps
LOS ANGELES /PRNewswire/ — Wyzr, the leading activity and health & wellness-based friendship app for singles and couples, celebrates a highly successful beta-testing phase with over 250,000 friendship connections. Wyzr officially launches this week in celebration of National New Friends Day on October 19.
health & wellness
Wyzr also announces its inclusion in the AgeTech Collaborative™ from AARP accelerator program, where it will receive the tools to help bring Wyzr to people 50+.
“We’re thrilled to be a part of the AgeTech Collaborative from AARP accelerator,” said Joy Teitel, co-founder of Wyzr. “We’ve created a smarter, safer app where singles and couples can find friends and activity partners to facilitate social connection, which improves physical and mental health. Wyzr’s proprietary friendship matching algorithm optimizes connections by intelligently pairing people based on shared interests, and health & wellness goals, among other factors.”
Carolyn Kelly, co-founder, added, “People are exhausted from the pressure and the constant push for romance. Wyzr is different. We are focused on building real friendships for adults without the stress. Our activity-based approach makes connecting easy and natural, and our market is significantly larger than dating apps. After the isolation of the pandemic and return to on-site work, people are craving genuine, pressure-free connection, and Wyzr offers exactly that.”
Wyzr: New Features for Real Connections
Wyzr offers several exciting features that set it apart from dating and other social apps, focusing on easy, engaging ways to meet new people for meaningful friendships, shared health & wellness goals, and interests:
- Friend Blast: With just one tap, users can instantly invite their friends to social gatherings, one-on-one meet-ups, or group events, making spontaneous plans for golf, pickleball, concerts, day trips or shopping, more accessible than ever. This feature enhances community engagement and encourages users to connect through shared experiences.
- Health & Wellness Goals: Wyzr allows users to connect based on shared health and wellness interests, creating opportunities for friends to support each other on their personal journeys.
- Carpool: The Carpool feature, known as Wyzr Ride, helps users share rides to work, school, events and activities, promoting convenience, eco-consciousness and connections in their local communities.
- ID Verification: Wyzr prioritizes safety, offering optional ID verification for users who prefer added security when connecting with others.
Involving Community Groups & Employers
Wyzr invites community groups, organizations and employers across the U.S. and Canada to become a part of this movement to promote connection, longevity and healthy living. Eligible groups and organizations with at least 50 Wyzr sign-ups in 2024, can receive free event postings on the Wyzr App.
About Wyzr
Wyzr is a free, activity-based friendship app focused on helping singles and couples create meaningful connections. Available now on the Apple App Store and Google Play, Wyzr is on a mission to empower users to build strong social networks.
SOURCE Wyzr Group, LLC
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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(Family Features) After all the planning and stress of a wedding, many newlyweds look forward to celebrating their union by taking the trip of a lifetime. With the honeymoon destination options nearly unlimited, however, choosing where to go on your post-wedding getaway can be more stressful than proposing or choosing the right venue to say “I do.”
Top Honeymoon Destinations
To help newlyweds make the most of their first trip as a married couple, consider this guide to some of the most lavish honeymoon destinations across the globe.
Explore the Romance of the Maldives
Known for its stunning white sand beaches, crystal clear turquoise waters and luxurious resorts, the Maldives is a tropical paradise located in the Indian Ocean. A perfect destination for couples looking for a romantic, lavish honeymoon experience, the Maldives offers a range of romantic activities for couples including sunset cruises, candlelit dinners on the beach, spa treatments and luxurious accommodations in private villas built on stilts above the ocean with direct access to breathtaking views, snorkeling and diving.
Adventure and Opulence in South Africa
From thrilling safaris to world-class vineyards, South Africa offers a variety of experiences for couples looking for a unique honeymoon experience. On safari, you can spot lions, elephants, buffalo, leopards and rhinos in their natural habitats and witness the beauty of African wildlife up close and personal. After an exhilarating adventure, you can unwind at one of the luxurious lodges or tented camps before visiting the picturesque vineyards of the Cape Winelands, where you can enjoy some of the finest wines and gourmet dining in the world.
Cultural Riches and Exquisite Comforts in Italy
Rich in culture, history and exquisite comforts, Italy is a perfect honeymoon destination for couples who want to combine luxury and exploration. From the rolling hills of Tuscany – where you can indulge in wine tasting, visit medieval towns or take a cooking class to learn how to make authentic Italian dishes – to the picturesque Amalfi Coast, with its colorful cliffside villages, crystal clear waters and luxurious resorts, the country offers a diverse range of experiences. Plus, visiting iconic landmarks such as the Colosseum, Vatican City and the Grand Canal allows couples to immerse themselves in the rich history and art of the charming cities of Rome, Florence and Venice.
Indulge in French Polynesia
A tropical paradise made up of 118 islands and atolls, French Polynesia is known for its overwater bungalows and azure waters. These luxurious accommodations are built on stilts above the lagoon, offering direct access to the crystal-clear waters. With the South Pacific’s vibrant marine life and coral reefs, you can go on a snorkeling or diving adventure to explore the underwater world or take a boat or kayak tour to discover hidden lagoons and remote islands.
Private Island Seclusion in the Caribbean
If you seek ultimate seclusion and relaxation, the pristine beaches, turquoise waters and luxurious resorts of the Caribbean make for a romantic and intimate honeymoon experience. One of the highlights of the Caribbean is the privacy and exclusivity of staying on a private island. In addition to the private accommodations, couples can go snorkeling or diving to explore the vibrant coral reefs, take a sunset cruise or indulge in delicious Caribbean cuisine.
Find more guidance to make your honeymoon a once-in-a-lifetime experience at eLivingtoday.com.
Photo courtesy of Unsplash
SOURCE:
eLivingtoday.com
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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