holidays
Tips for avoiding family feuds over the holidays when dealing with ‘hot button’ topics
The holidays are a great time for family and friends to reconnect. Unfortunately, it is also a time for feuds to brew and dinners to be ruined when controversial topics boil over.

« Tips for avoiding family feuds over the holidays when dealing with ‘hot button’ topics
The holidays are a great time for family and friends to reconnect. Unfortunately, it is also a time for feuds to brew and dinners to be ruined when controversial topics boil over. A Virginia Tech expert offers tips on how to better manage conversations around contentious issues.
“No one wants the holidays to be unpleasant, yet they can quickly become so in these polarized times,” said Todd Schenk, an associate professor in the Virginia Tech School of Public and International Affairs. “Family members often do not agree on important issues such as climate change, immigration, election integrity, crime, and abortion.”
Schenk explained that although many may attempt to avoid these conversations, it is often only a matter of time before they come up.
“Civil discourse around issues offers the clearest path to shared learning and increased empathy,” said Schenk. “It’s also critical if we seek to be persuasive; changing opinions is really hard, but virtually impossible through insults and adversarial approaches.”
When these conversations do eventually come up, Schenk offers the following advice to make the exchanges worthwhile.
“Being thoughtful in the when and how of approaching sensitive topics is key to having productive conversations,” said Schenk. “We often fall into talking about ‘hot topics,’ but I would suggest explicitly seeking agreement among the parties that you are going to ‘go there’ and perhaps set aside a time for doing so.”
Schenk notes that the dinner table after a heavy meal and a few drinks may not be the most productive space for these conversations. Creating the time and space to hold these conversations can be vital when discussing issues that matter deeply to you and your loved ones. In addition, it may be helpful to set ground rules such as ‘no personal insults’ and ’no interrupting.’
“Ideally, the parties involved will agree to approach the conversation with genuine curiosity and respect for the personhood and perspectives of others,” said Schenk.
Schenk also emphasizes that utilizing ‘active listening’ techniques can be key to productive conversations. Active listening involves:
- Listening to understand and not respond
- Asking to clarifying and probing questions
- Speaking from the “I” and avoiding the “you”
- Interrogating the issues, not the people
- Providing data and information when appropriate
- Sharing personal experiences as appropriate;
- Aiming to speak honestly
- Being mindful of the way you communicate, verbally and non-verbally
- Communicating with a healthy level of respect
- Making space and taking space
- Approaching discomfort with curiosity
With these tips in mind, family gatherings can not only be fun and relaxing but also safe spaces to share thoughts and feelings about the world around us.
Source: Virginia Tech
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Rolling Into the Holidays: Altadena Man’s Enchanting Train Wonderland
Rob Caves’ impressive model train display in Altadena becomes a holiday destination, evoking nostalgia and joy for families and enthusiasts, fostering community connections through shared experiences.

As the holiday season unfolds, there’s one place in Altadena that’s transforming into a magical winter wonderland, drawing visitors from near and far. Nestled along Christmas Tree Lane, Rob Caves’ home has become a beloved destination for model train enthusiasts and families alike. With an expansive model train set that captures the essence of California and beyond, Rob Caves is bringing joy, nostalgia, and a touch of magic to the heart of the season.
The Journey Begins
Rob’s journey into the realm of model trains started back in 2010 when he was living in sunny San Diego. What began as a modest hobby has blossomed into a spectacular display that now stretches an impressive 60 feet by 90 feet. This remarkable train set transports visitors from San Diego to Seattle, all within the cozy confines of his home. As families peer into the miniature world he has created, they’re greeted with iconic landmarks, such as the San Clemente Pier, the remnants of Fry’s Electronics in Burbank, and even the historic Union Station in downtown LA.
“I think the track represents places we’ve all been,” Rob shares, reflecting on the memories that each twist and turn evokes. The Christmas Tree Lane Model Railroad Society, a passionate club of 50 members, assists Rob in maintaining and operating the stunning display. Each contributor brings their unique flair and enthusiasm, collectively creating a lively atmosphere that resonates with every visitor.
Bringing the Past to Life
For many, model trains are synonymous with cherished childhood memories—be it waving at the engineer when riding the train to the beach or the excitement of camping adventures. Young Logan Montori, just seven-and-a-half years old, is one of the club’s budding enthusiasts. He exclaims, “Running trains is basically my favorite thing!” His infectious energy and joy remind us that the magic of model trains knows no age.
Adding to the wonder is the evolution of technology within the model trains. Tom Selinske, a college business professor and fellow club member, highlights the incorporation of advanced technologies. “There’s microchips in these little engines that actually can do sounds, create different effects, and it’s becoming more digital,” he reveals. The blend of traditional charm and cutting-edge technology keeps both the club members and visitors in awe, ensuring that there’s always something new to explore.
Inviting the Community In
Every holiday season, Rob opens his home to the public, sharing the joy and excitement that comes with seeing the model trains in action. “It just makes our day,” Rob expresses, his eyes twinkling with pride. “Whether we see the kids run up and see the train, and you know what? Everybody is a big kid when they come here.” This welcoming spirit creates an enchanting atmosphere where community ties are strengthened through the shared wonder of the holiday season.
For many families, visiting Rob Caves’ home has become an annual tradition, with the last opportunity to visit this season ending soon. On Saturday, December 16th, from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m., the doors of this fascinating holiday attraction will close until next year, making this weekend the perfect time to create lasting memories.
Rob Caves’ model train set is more than just a hobby; it’s a heartfelt labor of love that serves as a bridge to cherished memories, nostalgia, and the magic of the season. As visitors gather and share in the joy of the trains, they not only witness a remarkable spectacle but also partake in a community celebration of creativity, innovation, and togetherness. So, why not embark on this enchanting journey? Come experience the wonder of Rob Caves’ magical train world before it’s too late—your holiday season will be all the merrier for it!
See the story on KCBS Los Angeles:
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Family
Why ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ almost didn’t air − and why it endures

Stephen Lind, University of Southern California
It’s hard to imagine a holiday season without “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” The 1965 broadcast has become a staple – etched into traditions across generations like decorating the tree or sipping hot cocoa.
But this beloved TV special almost didn’t make it to air. CBS executives thought the 25-minute program was too slow, too serious and too different from the upbeat spectacles they imagined audiences wanted. A cartoon about a depressed kid seeking psychiatric advice? No laugh track? Humble, lo-fi animation? And was that a Bible verse? It seemed destined to fail – if not scrapped outright.
And yet, against all the odds, it became a classic. The program turned “Peanuts” from a popular comic strip into a multimedia empire – not because it was flashy or followed the rules, but because it was sincere.
As a business professor who has studied the “Peanuts” franchise, I see “A Charlie Brown Christmas” as a fascinating historical moment. It’s the true story of an unassuming comic strip character who crossed over into television and managed to voice hefty, thought-provoking ideas – without getting booted off the air.
Call from the blue
The “Peanuts” special came together out of a last-minute scramble. Somewhat out of the blue, producer Lee Mendelson got a call from advertising agency McCann-Erickson: Coca-Cola wanted to sponsor an animated Christmas special.
Mendelson had previously failed to convince the agency to sponsor a “Peanuts” documentary. This time, though, he assured McCann-Erickson that the characters would be a perfect fit.
Mendelson called up “Peanuts” comic strip creator Charles “Sparky” Schulz and told him he had just sold “A Charlie Brown Christmas” – and they would have mere months to write, animate and bring the special to air.

Schulz, Mendelson and animator Bill Melendez worked fast to piece together a storyline. The cartoonist wanted to tell a story that cut through the glitz of holiday commercialism and brought the focus back to something deeper.
While Snoopy tries to win a Christmas lights contest, and Lucy names herself “Christmas queen” in the neighborhood play, a forlorn Charlie Brown searches for “the real meaning of Christmas.” He makes his way to the local lot of aluminum trees, a fad at the time. But he’s drawn to the one real tree – a humble, scraggly little thing – inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale “The Fir Tree.”
Jazz – and the Bible
Those plot points would likely delight the network, but other choices Schulz made were proving controversial.
The show would use real children’s voices instead of adult actors’, giving the characters an authentic, simple charm. And Schulz refused to add a laugh track, a standard in animated TV at the time. He wanted the sincerity of the story to stand on its own, without artificial prompts for laughter.
Meanwhile, Mendelson brought in jazz musician Vince Guaraldi to compose a sophisticated soundtrack. The music was unlike anything typically heard in animated programming, blending provocative depth with the innocence of childhood. https://open.spotify.com/embed/album/2XnNY3GEkbWHor5kyvXLu4?utm_source=generator
Most alarming to the executives was Schulz’s insistence on including the heart of the Nativity story in arguably the special’s most pivotal scene.
When Charlie Brown joyfully returns to his friends with the spindly little tree, the rest of the “Peanuts” gang ridicule his choice. “I guess I really don’t know what Christmas is all about,” the utterly defeated Charlie Brown sighs.
Gently but confidently, Linus assures him, “I can tell you what Christmas is all about.” Calling for “Lights, please,” he quietly walks to the center of the stage.
In the stillness, Linus recites the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 2, with its story of an angel appearing to trembling shepherds:
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/KXmGLJ0S1Bs?wmode=transparent&start=0 Leave it to Linus to deliver the ‘true meaning’ of Christmas.
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men,” he concludes, picking up his security blanket and walking into the wings. The rest of the gang soon concludes Charlie Brown’s scrawny tree isn’t so bad, after all – it just “needs a little love.”
When Schulz discussed this idea with Mendelson and Melendez, they were hesitant. For much of U.S. history, Protestant Christianity was the default in American culture, but in the years since World War II, society had grown somewhat more mindful of making room for Catholic and Jewish Americans. Unsure how to handle the shifting norms, many mainstream entertainment companies in the 1960s tended to avoid religious topics.
“The Bible thing scares us,” CBS executives said when they saw the proofs of the special. But there was simply no time to redo the entire dramatic arc of the special, and pulling it was not an option, given that advertisements had already run.
Fun and philosophy
Fortunately for the “Peanuts” franchise, when the special aired on Dec. 9, 1965, it was an instant success. Nearly half of American households tuned in, and the program won both an Emmy and a Peabody Award. Schulz had tapped into something audiences were craving: an honest, heartfelt message that cut through the commercialism.

Millions of viewers have continued to tune in to the show’s annual rebroadcast for over 50 years on CBS and then ABC – and now Apple TV+.
When I was researching my spiritual biography of Schulz, “A Charlie Brown Religion,” one of my favorite finds was a 1965 letter from a Florida viewer, Betty Knorr. She praised the show for stressing “the true meaning of the Christmas season” at a time when “the mention of God in general (is) being hush hushed.”
The magic of Schulz’s work, though, is that it resonates across demographics and ideologies. Some fans find comfort in the show’s gentle message of faith, while others embrace it in a purely secular way.
Simple but poignant, Schulz’s art and gentle humor can do two things. They can act as safe entry points for some pretty hefty thoughts – be they psychiatric, cultural or theological. Or “Peanuts” cartoons can simply be heartwarming, festive entertainment, if that’s what you want.
Today, both the “Peanuts” empire and the Christmas industry are thriving. Back in the 1960s, commercial realities almost derailed Schulz’s special, yet those same forces ultimately ensured its broadcast. The result is a lasting touchstone of innocence, hope and belief.
Stephen Lind, Associate Professor of Clinical Business Communication, University of Southern California
This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.
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Family
Tips for a Safe and Festive Holiday Season

(Family Features) As people prepare to gather with family and friends this holiday season, it’s important to think about health and safety.
“With the holidays just around the corner, now is the perfect time to think about how you can help protect yourself from serious illness from flu, COVID-19 and RSV – and support your loved ones in doing the same,” said Dr. Rachel Levine, assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). “Vaccination is an important step in having a happy and healthy celebration.”
While preparing for holiday festivities, keep these recommendations in mind to help protect yourself from severe flu, COVID-19 and RSV.
Flu: Flu season usually peaks during the winter months, so now is a great time to get the 2024-25 flu vaccine. It’s recommended for people 6 months and older to lower their risk of infection or serious illness from the flu. In fact, people who skipped their flu shot last year were twice as likely to need medical help for the flu. The best time to get vaccinated is at least a couple of weeks before a holiday gathering. But getting vaccinated later in the season can still help. Encourage your family and friends to get the flu vaccine, too. Together you can create safer holiday celebrations.
COVID-19: Getting vaccinated against COVID-19 is also important for everyone ages 6 months and older. The updated COVID-19 vaccines offer the best protection against serious illness from the virus, especially for those at higher risk. This includes people with certain health conditions or older adults, which may include parents, grandparents and great aunts or uncles. By getting vaccinated, people of all ages can lower their risk of getting severely sick. In fact, young adults are at higher risk of developing Long COVID than older adults. However, staying up to date on your COVID-19 vaccines lowers your risk of Long COVID, too.
RSV: RSV can be especially risky for older adults and babies. That’s why everyone 75 and older, people 60-74 with certain health conditions or who live in a nursing home and pregnant people should get the RSV vaccine. Pregnant people should get the RSV vaccine at 32-36 weeks of pregnancy to help protect their newborns from severe RSV during their first six months of life.
As you prepare for the holidays, remember that prevention is the best way to keep from getting seriously sick from flu, COVID-19 and RSV. By getting vaccinated now, you can enjoy the holiday season with greater confidence and less risk of missing time together. Being vaccinated helps keep your symptoms milder if you get infected after vaccination so you can do the things you want to do with less risk of spreading infection.
Talk with your doctor about which vaccines are right for you as well as for any loved ones you help care for. Visit cdc.gov/RiskLessDoMore for more information on vaccines, or visit vaccines.gov to get started.
The Effects of Flu, COVID-19 and RSV on Different Populations
People who are Black, Hispanic or who live in rural areas may be at higher risk of severe illness from flu, COVID-19 and RSV than others. Getting vaccinated is the best protection from getting seriously sick from these viruses. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):
- Last flu season, Black adults were more than twice as likely as white adults to be hospitalized for flu.
- Last flu season, Hispanic adults were more likely than white adults to be hospitalized for flu.
- One in 3 adults living in rural areas have never been vaccinated against COVID-19. For people living in rural areas, health services may be far away. That can mean it takes some planning to get vaccinated. But being far from medical care also means it’s even more important to lower your risk of serious illness by getting vaccinated.
Photos courtesy of Shutterstock
SOURCE:
United States Department of Health and Human Services
Our Lifestyle section on STM Daily News is a hub of inspiration and practical information, offering a range of articles that touch on various aspects of daily life. From tips on family finances to guides for maintaining health and wellness, we strive to empower our readers with knowledge and resources to enhance their lifestyles. Whether you’re seeking outdoor activity ideas, fashion trends, or travel recommendations, our lifestyle section has got you covered. Visit us today at https://stmdailynews.com/category/lifestyle/ and embark on a journey of discovery and self-improvement.
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